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5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

I started trying to quit in December of 2016. I spent all of 2017 suffering, more or less, due to the constant trying/failing to quit, and the on-off way I was taking Champix to help. Last week, I happened to finish a pack right before bed. And for no particular reason, I decided not to buy any in the morning. I'm basically just depressed with myself and tired of being a hamster running on the same wheel month after month after month. This would all be over already and behind me, if I had just stuck to any of my quit attempts over the past 1.5 years. I'm armed with more knowledge now, though, more understanding of how I experience this whole process, and more faith that there is a possible future for me that doesn't include cigarettes. Today is Day 5.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Thanks for the support guys :) I'm on Day 6 here. I don't feel *good* per se, but I haven't smoked and that's all I need to know.

Timbo - I am indeed very fed up with being an addict. In fact, this desire to quit smoking initially began because I am in recovery from a severe drug addiction (2.5 years clean, yay). What formerly didn't bother me ("it's only cigarettes, at least I'm not _______"), slowly started to feel suffocating. That feeling built until I realized that I am still living in enslavement, even if the master is less life-destroying than what used to rule me. The fact that there are very few negative consequences to my smoking (compared to past addiction, I mean) has made it tough to stick out. Plus my partner is basically a chain smoker, as are the majority of my recovery friends. Over the past 1.5 years, I think my longest quit was 17 days. Usually I last 5-7 days. Hence why I am not joyful or optimistic about this quit (yet). I've tread this ground already, probably 25+ times in the past while. 6 days is nothing to get excited about, in my mind. The half-dose of Champix I'm taking really curbs the irrational, overpowering urges to smoke. It's staying motivated that's the problem.

York Quitter - I'm really looking forward to reading about your quit, and I hope your enthusiasm ends up bleeding over into my own quit, lol. I could use a little oomph. Like I said above, I fairly frequently get to this stage. The hard part for me is day 10-20, when I can't really remember why I quit and I feel like I've done a "good job" and a half smoke is really not a big deal if it's only once a month blah blah blah. I need to remember that EVERY time after that "half smoke", I end up with a pack in my purse within a week. Every. Time.

At the moment, I'm telling myself to go 30 days without a smoke. Every time I think "never again" I immediately want to smoke. Of course, underneath the idea is that at 30 days in, I'll be committed to continuing, but for now I need to know there is an out if I need it. It helps me remember I'm making a choice, not being punished.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Quitting on Friday

Good luck York! Are you a cold-turkey quitter or do you have a plan to use quit products? I hope you check in here every day, our quit dates are so close together it would be nice to have a buddy of sorts :)

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

On Day 7. Feeling depressed, which never happened in my previous billion quit attempts. Perhaps it's unrelated... either way, I'm not suffering the delusion that smoking will help it in any way. Buying smokes would just mean I have two problems instead of one. Onward I go.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Hiya Dakota! Welcome and I wish you success. Feel free to post at will/ad nauseum in this thread. I plan to use it similarly... better out than in, I was taught.

In my earlier quit attempts I recall work being a significant challenge. I gradually figured out a few things that helped me: When I craved a smoke at work, it was usually because I a) was resisting a particular task, b) wanted a break from working, c) I wanted to be alone for a few minutes, or d) I was feeling some level of stress or anxiety (which includes boredom-related anxiety).

To address these needs/desires in a different way besides smoking, I found a few tactics that worked for me:

I would go outside for 5 minutes (but not to the smoking spot -it was not beneath me to fish someone else's butt from the can and finish it.... addiction in action) to get some fresh air and a break from the work environment
some very deep breathing (this continues to help me - I realized that one of the calming effects of smoking was actually the fact that I would take long, slow inhales while I smoked; taking similar breaths, but of clean air, is often quite effective)
taking a few minutes to check a favourite website (similar "guilty pleasure" effect as smoking during work hours I found)

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Day 8 and I can tell I'm getting into the weeds here... I had strong thoughts of smoking this morning after breakfast, as well as on my way to work. This message board is actually what popped into my mind, and I decided the pleasure of updating here with another smoke-free day was greater than the fleeting pleasure (and then consequent guilt and enslavement) of a cigarette. As demoralizing as all my previous failed attempts were, I do have to say I feel pretty well-armed today to be successful - if I want to be be.

One thing I'm future-tripping about already is coming off the Champix. Trying to stay in the day. Today I am choosing not to smoke. Not one puff. And it turns out I'm still "me" even without my favourite accessory :) I didn't suddenly become no fun/uncool/square/fat/ordinary/lonely/whatever-other-BS-values-and-beliefs I attach to smoking. The world will keep turning, and I will still be on it, with or without smokes. Might as well try the "without" version of life.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Hi Dakota,

Clearly I'm not the person to say what's right and what's wrong when quitting (evidenced by the fact hat I have yet to successfully see a quit through), but I do know what's right and wrong *for me* and that's really all I go on. Every tactic I used worked/didn't work to some degree, and I noted those as I went along. For instance, keeping a pack of smokes around was NOT right for me. I always smoked them. I know this works for some, but it was a MASSIVE failure for me, even though I tried it several times. Cutting down was an important step for me, but not one I'd readily advise (mostly because "cutting down" has simply dragged out the process by several years for me, as well as the fact that if I justify one or two, eventually I justify three... which leads to 4, 5, 6, oops I guess I'm just full-out smoking again). This time around, I even got rid of my lighters and matches. I find that if I have *any* reservations, potential outs, or special rules to a quit, I am going to act on it. Anyway, my point is that what works for you might not be what works for someone else. I can't have "just one or two" in the morning (and lordy I tried!), but I have certainly heard tell of folks who felt this sort of action geared them up for the final quit. I guess you'll find out soon enough which camp you're in :)

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Day 9. The urge to smoke is returning. I am getting through each urge by just telling myself "not now" and then distracting myself with another activity. Thinking of my entire future without cigarettes is too difficult, but I can handle not smoking *today*.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

Made it through the long weekend, I think today is Day 13. Almost two weeks without a cigarette, I haven't accomplished that since last year... I still feel like a smoker-trying-not-to-smoke rather than a nonsmoker. At this point my quit is quite pubic within my social sphere, which is helping. I don't want to hurt my pride by bumming a smoke from someone. I think my cravings are both physical and mental - I experience strong cravings right about now in the morning (which remind me to take my little half pill of Champix), and then any cravings are more emotional in nature after that.

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

June quitter

2 weeks :) I feel like I spend most of my time not thinking about smoking, which is nice. I look forward to the day when I no longer identify with smoking. Or when my sense of self and identity is no longer tied to being a smoker. Someone approached me last night and said, "I heard you quit smoking again." That actually felt good, as well as being a jolt of accountability out of the blue. One more person supporting the effort. Or one more person I don't want to admit failure to.

And I noticed I typed "pubic" instead of "public" in my last post. The universe conspires to keep me humble one day at a time :)

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