Yay Jules! Come join the winning team, posting a ton here has really helped me stay motivated and accountable. And reading the archives was great for busting my illusions and excuses to keep smoking.
Now its day 51 I feel pretty darn good (day 50 was admittedly pretty exciting, thanks for the acknowledgement Timbo!) I still want to smoke at times, maybe 2-3x per day on average. But like I said downthread, I've also had a couple days now when I didn't think of smoking at all, which has been pretty sweet. I do not feel that I've got another quit in me, and that is motivating me to not bail on this one, for any reason. My brain keeps casually suggesting that "just one" would be nice and no big deal - this is the one and only remaining "argument" I'm experiencing at this point, everything else has been weeded out and pruned away. ... To which I say, "Haha, nice try, lower brain! I'm on to your shenanigans and I'm getting on with my life now."
Day 56 :) Nothing much to report, I'm in a stready-state phase of my quit (where I now assume I won't be smoking today, but still experience some cues and thoughts), but I noticed the high read count on this thread and so I wanted to post an update for anyone interested in the details of my ongoing experience. I'm at a huge work training all this week, and I am one of the ONLY non-smokers here in a group of 100+ people - crazy! I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything during the break times when everyone flocks outside. In fact, I feel relieved that I can use my breaks for my own purposes, and that I'm not watching the clock and feeling progressively more uncomfortable as each break time approaches. I used to feel a little pang when I saw people run for their smoke break. Freedom of the body, freedom of the mind :)
Hi Sparrow, welcome to the wonderful world of quitting! I'm so glad to see you posting here right away after your slip - I think that bodes well for you. I really find it helpful to post here a lot as I go along my quit, and it's nice to get the ongoing support. It feels like a big change to quit, but now that I'm a little bit into it, I can see how I was catastrophizing things earlier on - which was my addiction's way of protecting itself. If I built it up into this huge issue, then failing would feel justified. This quit I treated differently, like it was not such a big deal it was just something I was doing, if that makes sense. I also used a bit of Champix for the first few weeks to take the edge off the cravings and help me keep the attitude of "this isn't a big deal, I'm just not smoking." I look forward to your posts, stick around!!!
Day 2, you already got further than the last time! How are you doing today? I have had a severe uptick in stress dreams and vivid dreams since I began this quit - initially it was due to the Champix, but I haven't had any of that for weeks now and the dreams still come. I'm alright with them, I just kind of got used to it and expect it will go away when things are back in balance. I've been eating more dessert type items as well since I quit, so it might just be the extra sugar as well... Either way, I'd rather have funky dreams for a while than funky breath/clothes/vehicle for the rest of my life.
Day 59. I have felt like a non-smoker the past couple of days. Which was my ultimate goal from the outset, so I'm pretty stoked. I shouldn't be using smugness as a quitting tool, lol, but I have to say that as I go about my day I am now noticing how completely stupid it looks to have a cigarette hanging out of one's mouth. It's an instant way to appear dumber than you are. And all those early years, I thought smoking was somehow helping or a part of my image?? I am noticing that the people in my life who I admire the most, do not smoke. I'm not saying that there is a direct link between smoking and dysfunctional living, but I AM saying that smoking does not help one become more functional. I feel like I am moving closer toward the person I am supposed to be. I see my smoking as the total life nuisance that it was. When I was in it, it felt so important and like I might not be able to survive without it. Now I see it more like shaking a pebble out of my shoe. Life is better without the pebble interfering with my thoughts all the time. And a couple weeks of discomfort are so worth the years of freedom I can expect if I continue not smoking. I really feared that I would miss smoking forever, but that's not the case at all. I do "miss" it once and a while, but for the most part my smoking thoughts are simply automatic and have nothing to do with anything except brain wiring and are therefore easily rejected. I can't wait for tomorrow, the big 60 days! Guys, I am getting on with my life here. Smoking was not the gigantic thing I thought it was. It was something I did, and now it's something I don't do. There's no more loaded emotional trickery around it. It's just a flipping cigarette, I'll be just fine not having one today. Imagine me saying that a year ago! CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.
So nice to hear your positivity Steveo88. It sounds like you have a mindset very conducive to quitting right now, which is awesome. Welcome to the land of freedom, the grass is SO much greener over here!
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