I caved. **hands in pocket..looking down...kicks dirt**
There is no excuse for it, and I've been ashamed to come back here and tell you fine people. The thing is, I think I'm giving up too many things in such a short period of time. I feel almost frantic about getting my health back. See, I was diagnosed with diabetes only about 6 months ago. It was a total shock, but a loud wake-up call. I was on insulin injections and meds...now, I've taken myself off, reason being, it forces me to eat a more balanced diet and exercise(not relying on insulin shots and meds to keep me "healthier") in order to better control the disease (refusing to live my life taking meds and insulin which causes more damage over time). Anyhoo..the only sugar I get is a spot in my tea (which I'm not suppose to drink because of caffeine, so I've given up the majority of sugar in my life. Trying to wean myself off caffeine (tea), which to my understanding I was given as a baby in a bottle to wean me off milk...and I've drank it almost everyday since (I'm 38 years old, now). I'm not supposed to get "full" off any meal that I eat, and those meals are suppose to be spread out over 5-6 times daily (snacks, basically, just feeling "satisfied"). Can't have diet colas because of the neurotoxin Aspartame, which interferes with insulin activity. Can't have too much fat, too many carbs or too much protien. Can't have refined white flour products...bread, baked goods, pasta, etc.. because of the poison "alloxan" (makes flour white..refining/bleaching process) which kills pancreatic beta cells, and milk is questionable. !!!
I'm a secretary at a grocery distributing warehouse. The "smoking" break-room is next door to my office, and I and other's are allowed to smoke in my office. I caved just 4 hours into my quit. I can't lean on food, because I want all the wrong things which will increase my blood glucose and insulin levels. AND, the vending machines are right next door to the break-room, with all those goodies I'm not allowed to have!!@$#%*!@?? I'm not over weight, actually I'm at the correct weight for my age and height (that's great for any diabetic), and I have to keep that up. The food/sugar and nicotine cravings got the best of me, and I gave in to the nicotene craving.