Islandgirl
You have this exactly correct. It is not easy. It is change. The most amazing thing about this process is that once we have begun, we are surprised to find that we are addicted. Oh we always knew that on some level, but it is not until we finally decide to end our enslavement that the full weight of our situation becomes apparent.
I can see that you are already recognizing the enemy in your fight. The fact that you categorize the craving feeling as "the after dinner cigarette" tells me that you understand the nature of triggers. And even though it may feel badly at the moment, you are actually developing coping mechanisms both on a conscious and a subconscious level that will help you deal with that particular situation every time it returns.
I have long thought that the addiction and subsequent withdrawal lives in the physical as well as the emotional realm. If it where simply a physical activity from which we where disengaging, all we would have to do is "just say no". That would be easy right...Sure if we where single celled organisms. However, quitting is a process of some substance. Smoking cessation has forced me to sit down and "have a cup of tea with myself". Finding the why of addiction has been essential for me. It has helped me identify those times when I am at most risk. Much of the process is all about recognizing those sighn posts.
This may not be an easy process, but I promise you that if you hang in, if you grit it out when it seems that you can not walk one more step forward, you will reach a place of resolution. This is the single most important thing that you can do for yourself in terms of physical well being. It is worth the effort, simply because you are worth the effort.
There are many people here who understand and will help you at any time. Stay around here as much as possible, the very fact of knowing that others are going through the same experience will give the addtional courage you will need in those "difficult times"...
Good luck
nonic
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 395
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,850
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $4,147.50
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 73 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
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Quit Meter
$66,559.50
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 1373
Hours: 10
Minutes: 29
Seconds: 6
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
6339
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
190,170
Cigarettes Not Smoked
