Welcome! I just read your intro and am in awe of your situation. I do not think that I would be doing half as well as you in that situation. I do not feel I have a gift for languages and often feel ackward trying to speak in another language. It is commendable that you are continuing to try in the face of such rudeness.
Rude it is, especially if it is not a dialect that is common. I would think that an attitude of helpfulness would prevail rather than such rudeness, especially those who ignore. In the case of those who laugh, it may be quite innocent and not really directed toward you but toward the recognition that you are very new to the language. If they laugh but are also willing to speak with you then I would not take offense. They may switch to English for your comfort and not to be rude. If you explain that you are trying to learn the language there may be more help out there.
Since you've already begun to challenge your negative thoughts I am sure you will be able to succeed.
I only speak English. I have been taught French in an educational environment here for 9 years (over 20 years ago). I think it would have been great to have someone to "talk to" to hang on to that, however; sadly as the saying goes if you don't use it, you lose it. I have difficulty in finding words, having them make sense in context of what I am saying, get a word close to what I want but means something different, confuse people and names and sometimes the word just escapes me and I have to describe what I am talking about. I can't imagine combining that with a second language. I know how frustrating and how I let it affect my self-esteem in one language. I don't think my meds are a part of it (opinion). I did it when I decided I was "well" and didn't take the meds. I think it is part of the cognitive part of depression just like focus, concentration, decision-making - all things I have difficulty with since this became a part of my life. I do know it's frustrating with one language - I couldn't imagine trying to speak two languages and dealing with it.
If you can believe it, i know exactly how you feel!!!
I live in Montreal and grew up anglophone. English school, English friends (of Italian community), and English culture... in the heart of a French City. And with the political environment over here ... I was not in the popular camp. Especially when there were the questions of Splitting with the rest of Canada and all... THere were political battles that tore families apart! so as an awkward teen with the unpopular language and 1/2 the other one and rolling those rrrr's with a thick accent ... and the verb tenses all over yesterday and tomorrow. I know how you feel!!!
Hi Rose,
THe description is from CrazyMeds and I think it describes the secondary effects of the darn Dop-a-max to a T / D. My kids have started laughing at Maman who makes sounds like a 2 year old when she can not find a word. I do not know if you notice but I have some really good spells and then these more difficult moments. Strange that the depressed mood brings better communication - my brain is slower so I can catch my thoughts. It is the GOOD moods that bring the difficult communications. i skip over points in a chain of thought. i have a lot of trouble catching my thoughts never mind putting them somewhere I can find them!!!
I had 3 interactions in the local language today, all neutral. No smirking, no laughing, not even any switching to English. I'm going to try to keep track of this for at least a week.
wildcat - you are so not stupid like a bag of rocks, or potatoes or anything else! cindysue, wildcat has been around for awhile and i've never known her to be anything but helpful - sometimes she doesn't sound as clear as she is!! go wildcat go
No problem. Maybe I was feeling overly sensitive when I replied because it seemed to me that what you were saying was, "You shouldn't be depressed because afterall you are not in a refugee camp where it really would be difficult to study a foreign language." As if you were discounting my problems/issues just because there are worse in the world and saying that in fact it should be easy for me. You could see how that interpretation might rankle?
I was not trying to be too invasive. I tend towards that when my moods swing upwards. I have gotten into trouble twice in two weeks at work...
What I was trying to assess... was if you had easy access to matrials. In a safe and comfortable environment, you can think of learning a second language as a "pleasant"activity. In a hostile and unstable (hence war torn area i chose as an extreme example) environment, you might need to think of activites that put your self in healing situations. Also in the extreme example the access to matrials you did not bring with you and to resource people (librians, book shops) would be limited/non-existant.
I often use this these kinds of images. Sorry if I jumped ahead of myself there . I like the contrasts and the textures that they bring to an example, and sometimes if the language parts of me are not working well thanks to my Topiramate (Topamax/Dop-a-max!) the playing with the visual helps me a bit. I feel a bit less as stupid as a bag of rocks.
Sounds like you are doing well with the CBT, you will feel better as you give it time. Have you also checked out our sister site, The Panic Centre? You may find it useful in planning for exposure to social anxiety situations like the one you describe. Let us know how else we may support you .
good for you, cindysue, you are really working it! especially for recognizing that you're not an idiot and wouldn't be an idiot under those (or any) circumstances. focusing on the few that would be rude i think is also discounting the positive - i do that alot unfortunately.........to the rude i say
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No smirking, no laughing, not even any switching to English. I'm going to try to keep track of this for at least a week.
The icons on this forum are so cute!
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