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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Mom of 3,

WildCat is right. You did not marry the same person twice.

As for what he wants, well some people want power period. Who knows what he wants. What matters is what you want and do not want. If you do not want him to come in willy-nilly then he shouldn't, period. And if he is angry about it well tough, that is his issue. You have a right to have some space and set some boundaries.

So hang in there and take care of yourself and your family. And remember that we are all here for you.

So how are you today?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 456

hi MO3

you did not marry the same person twice. Maybe circumstances, maybe it is a pattern we teach socially ... it is a "cycle" you found yourself in.

And I am all for empowering you ... so here goes! Yes he was locked out! It no longer is his Home! he needs to be invited like any other guest and present proper manners! Even if you exchange keys, this is not his home. It is an emergency key. It is a deal with the burning house key! Deal with a lonely child key. Deal with a flooded basement key. Not help yourself to last night's supper and kiss me good nite key.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Hang in there mom of 3. People can do some awful things when they are hurting.

Take care of yourself and your family right now. Worry about you. Unfortunately, we cannot control other peoples actions (if only...!) all we can control is our own.

Stay strong, and know that we're always here for you.

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Thank you all for your replies and I agree it is a power play but I just don't know why.

If he wants out why does he still bother with me so much? Is he just trying to ensure an easier break when it's all said and done, because this has been awful.

If he doesn't want out what does he want? He's certainly not endearing himself to me.

I'm confused about that. I do see the control issues now, but never did before. This upsets me because it was one of the reasons I wanted out of my first marriage. All I did was marry another person like that?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Mom of 3, I have to agree with Ralph and Diva - he's trying to have the power. Set those boundaries and stick to them. Don't move because he keeps comingback if you don't want to, set those boundaries if you want to stay there. You can do it. You are awesome and continue to show strength. Prayers with Ralph and thinking about that fancy restaurant and us all gussied up having lots of laughs!

hugs hugs and more hugs

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Mom of 3,

Hugs back at you and thank you for all your support with my relationship it means a lot to me!

As for your husband waltzing in, I agree with Ralph that that is some kind of power play. Set your boundaries and if he gets angry well then that is his issue! Hang in there, you will get through this! Remember, this too shall pass!

You are in my thoughts.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 51

Mom of 3, hang in there! I went thru a similar situation with my ex-wife. she is tryed to have power in any way she could over our relationship. What she didn't realize is that instead of brining me back, like it did before, it showed me what she really thought of our relationship. That gave me the courage and the strength to move on. My situation ended up getting very nasty as she continued to get more desperate. I hope this doesn't happen to you, but know if it does that YOU are the strong one, not him! I just tried to kling to that, and to not return her venom so it would not inffect me too. You are in my prayers ALWAYS!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Today my husband showed up whenever he felt like it. He had said he would call first but didn't. When he got here he called me and asked why he was locked out - he wasn't. But he hung up on me. My phones had alot of static and he said he couldn't hear me well. But when I called back he didn't pick up my call.

He didn't stay very long today and once he left I didn't hear from him again. I'm not sure I miss him too much right now, he's made such a mess of things.

I also don't like that he thinks he should be able to waltz right in to my place but I don't have that option at his. It's not like he gave me a key or anything. I began calling about houses again today....

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Ralph,Thank

Thank you for your kind words. I think you are correct about my attitude concerning my use of medication. I don't want to have to use it. I also don't like being told I have an illness. It does seem like a weakness to me. I am trying to keep in mind that God made me this way for a reason and I should be grateful there are medications to help me with my problems.

Thank you for the insight. I'll try to embrace the meds instead of treating them like a burden. Thank you for praying for me.

Hi Diva,

I just finished writing on one of your threads. I think you are doing a great job with your husband. I'm glad he is trying. Thank you for your encouragement I can use all I can get. You're right I don't feel very strong, but I am trying. Hopefully someday soon I'll feel strong too. Big Hugs Diva!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hi Mom of 3,

I love what ralph had to say. Must apply it to my own life lol.

I am glad to see you are doing well. I feel very proud of you and find you so brave and strong. I know you might not feel brave and strong, but I think you are. Hugs to you hun.

I think it is great that things are better at work and that you don't need to hide. Hiding is so energy consuming! Also, I can see that you are less alone at work since people are sharing with you. That is great.

I am glad to see you are doing a good job of staying positive. Way to go. As for feeling in limbo, well this is a transition in your life, i guess it is normal to feel that way. But you will adapt and rebuild and you will be fine. You are right, whatever happens you will manage.

So how are things with you today?

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