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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Mom of 3, That's alot to deal with in one day. I hope things are going better today. You've already been asked......so I'll be awaiting your reply on how things are going today! You made it through and your son returned home and there's that strength you have such a hard time seeing. Oh How I wish you could see it and feel it - you are doing great! One day at a time.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

You are aloud to feel that way, and your feelings are understood considering the circumstances. Today is a new day. How are you doing?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hey Mom of 3,

I am sorry to hear Sunday was so hard for you. With your son gone to see his father, PAs, PMs, I can see how it was a hard day! I think it is great that your councelling is helping. I find therapy immensely helpful! How are you today?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Goofy,

I don't believe I wrote on your previous post but I couldn't say whether I was nauseated from Abilify or if it was just a continuation of the nausea I had been having. I don't have much now so either I adjusted or it was my panic attacks only.

I am taking the Abilify at night and Celexa (citalopram) in the morning. They help but today has been hard. My son was with his father and I didn't know it would affect me so badly. I am also PMS'd so am not doing well today. At one point today I thought I might be having a heart attack but it's just panic. I also have a migrane which doesn't help. Doing a little better now that he's home. This might have to be the topic I discuss with my counselor next week.

I'm also to the point that I'm unsure I want to be married to my husband any longer, I know I don't under these circumstances. I guess I'm just out of hope.

Thank you for the encouragement Breanne, but tonight I don't feel very strong or that I'm getting anywhere

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Mom of 3,

Sorry to hear that your aunt is not doing well. It is good of you to want to be there for her

It also sounds like you are doing quite well! Thanks for letting us know how you are doing.

Stay strong mom of 3!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

ah, Mom of 3, your post brought back memories from 28 years ago when my husband and I got divorced and the "control" was determined to have. Let me just say this....my son was eventually able to see through these things and resented his dad for it. I wouldn't wish for it by any means. And as we all know one of the hardest things as a parent is watching your child hurt and not being able to do anything thing about it. However, his not wanting his son - whether it's a control issue directed at you or not - is only hurting himself. Don't play his game expect him not to want him and then when he does actually get him, it will be a surprise. Unfortunatley, I don't think your son can have this same liberty - if you can figure out a way to do it, it would be awesome!

I'm sorry to hear your aunt is having such a hard time. I'll keep her in my prayers next to MO3.

Abilify - did it make you nauseated at first? I tried that about a week ago and "worry's me", I thought I had morning sickness! Doc took me off of it. Do you take it with anything else? I'm just curious. I could go read my post about this and see if you responded - if you did I apologize in advance.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Everyone,

I took a couple of days off but have looked in. Right now my favorite aunt is not doing well. She had some psychosis due to an antibiotic and wit her MDD background it was pretty scary. She is doing better now and I went back home to see her yesterday (2.5 hrs away). So I've been a little preoccupied lately.

As for yesterday, my husband had wanted to have our son but said he could go with me to see my aunt. Then on the way home we went to get a new cage for his hamster, which he also approved. Then on my way to his house, because it would be a little after 8 until dropped him off, he says to just keep him and bring him over in the morning. This made me angry, I recognize it's control but am unsure why he has to be so juvenile. I told him that he had agreed to my plan, that I told him what time I'd leave to come home, left a little earlier, and that he ok'd the stop to the pet store. I told him I was on my way and bringing him now. I know I did the right thing but it still is bothering me. Just had to tell someone to get it off my mind.

As for counseling Diva, it is going well. It helps to have a sounding board and she thinks I am doing well. The Abilify is wonderful. I have never felt so "normal". If this is what it's like then I have been missing out. I can even laugh again!!

Goofy, thank you for your continuing support I appreciate you. Maybe someday we'll get to that fancy restaurant, all dressed up and looking fine, and celebrate how far we've come!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 910

Hiya Mom of 3,

I agree with Goofy. I think she had great insight. And you are strong and an inspiration! So how did your appointment with the councelor go?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1044

Numb and apathy are our bodies natural way of helping protect us in times of need. Anger is a healthy emotion. I'm glad they are there to provide you with relief and comfort. It sounds like you are growing through healing. Just don't let anyone pour salt into those open wounds. I'm glad you recognize that it's not all your fault that it is his fault and he needs work too and as a couple you would both need work. It sounds like your getting some of those nasty beliefs you had about the relationship and now realize that you have done everything you could to make it work, save him trying to work on things and y'all working on things together.

I think that parents have good days and bad days and so do employees. I am glad that you have a counselor appointment. I know I look for those too! Do the best you can for each moment in the day. It's okay.

Mom of 3, I'm so proud of you and the strength you've found to get through to this point in this situation! I think you are an inspiration!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Hi Everyone and Thank you for your support and encouragement.

I think I've become numb, or maybe apathetic towards him. I don't seem to hurt as bad and my days are filled with other things. But then I am not in that downward spiral now and can think clearer. I am not sure there is hope for us. There would have to be some major work done and not all on my part. I don't think I could "bury this hatchet" without some help. I think I'm so hurt that I can't hurt anymore. I still know that things can still change but I think I've given up hope. I no longer hang on his every word and am relieved when he leaves. I would feel guilty about this but I do not. I feel that I've given the relationship my best and if he can't see that then forget it! I don't even feel so bad about shutting down over my daughter. Anyone on my side would have enabled me instead of beating me down about it. Let's just say I'm to the anger phase of the grieving process now.

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow night, I had thought it was tonight but it was not (once I checked my card) I want to discuss relaxation techniques with her. I am concerned about my job performance and my Mom performance. Couldn't care less right now about any wife performance.

I don't understand him at all and I am tired. I would just like himto be truthful with me or if he is being truthful, explain it. I don't think he really knows.

Enough for now. I'm a little tired and cranky, maybe PMS is taking over!

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