I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who didn't do the forms from day one. I AM trying and it is just taking me time to try to figure things out.
I read through all of Session 3 and have yet another form. They are referring to previous forms. I don't know what is best. To stop reading since I have not done the forms, or to keep reading and then hopefully things will start to make sense and I will be able to fill out the forms to be able to work from. In some ways, this is all a big experiment for me. Since I don't have someone that can answer my questions as they come up, it slows me down and then other questions come up down the line as I am reading. Hopefully this will all balance out and I will be able to start doing the program as it was written.
As far as Davit goes, I am sure that he means well. I just don't think that he realizes how he comes off sometimes. For someone who is not trusting and yet desperately looking for someone to trust to help me through understanding these things (in this case), it is very hard. I am in a fragile state with the the med changes, the interwoven health issues, both psychological and physiological. Having something "thrown" at you puts people on the defensive...particularly those who have had experiences with many methods that didn't work in the past. I am realizing allot in these past few months that I have never thought of before. This is good on one hand, but on the other hand, truly shows me that I have been messed with by people that I trusted. That only makes a person distrust first...ask questions later.
Based on what little I know of Davit, he does have allot to offer, but it is only useful if it's delivery is appropriate to the person it is being delivered to. He mentioned how his therapist was "intense", but helped him allot. I know without question that I would have left that therapist in an instant because they were unyielding and self-righteous. He had to have courage to be able to deal with a person like that. I need someone that is more nurturing and willing to listen to me and able to tell where I am at and coming from. I wouldn't give someone like he dealt with the time of day...and if they persisted, I would have gone on the defensive and if they persisted, I would have threatened them with disciplinary action from the governing factors that control their license...something any doctor fears the most. When I am threatened, I threaten back. This is a "coping mechanism" that I learned working for a law firm for a number of years.
In any case, I can only do what I can do at any given moment. I am doing the best I can do at this point. Hopefully as time goes by and I gain more understanding, I will be able to better utilize this program.
In answer to you question about having a good therapist. I have one that I have only seem a few times. She is looking promising, but we haven't gotten into the "meat" of anything yet. She has done CBT before, so it is likely that she will be able to help me more with this. I am trying to get weekly appts. with her because having appts. every other week, just isn't enough. To much is happening and too much falls through the cracks.
Thank you for your response.