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11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Hi from Shari,

This is an interesting thread and I'm enjoying everyone's posts regarding it. I was a military wife for 10 years and moved every three months and I lived up and down the East Coast of the U.S. from Massachusetts to Florida. The good parts about change were, if I didn't like the house we were in, or the neighbors, I knew I just had to wait a couple of months and we'd be off somewhere else. The bad parts about change, it also meant I had to leave, when I didn't want to also. When I was younger I handled change better than I do now at 50. For me it's more of the mental side of change, and a small part physical. Going to Florida, this summer, the heat bothered me more and never did so in the past. I don't want to travel anymore, unless it's a day trip. We can't control change, it's perpetual and cannot be stopped. I think the coping skill for it is, believing you can handle it, no matter what it is. Easier said than done whether it's a positive or negative change. Attitude and how you look at it is key; looking for the positive and replacing the negative with positive thoughts. Living in the present reduces anxiety whereas thinking about the future can cause it.

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

I'm wondering if it is the physical side of change or the mental you don't like. For me it is the physical side since I find it difficult, but I am fighting it as best as I can. That is why we are building. Small changes working up to the big one planned.

When I was younger and on my own I used to love change. Summers I would work in a number of different areas. Almost everything was new. New town and stores nearby. New mountains to admire, new lakes to swim in when the day got hot. Do the job and move on to the next.

Now I don't want to travel. I'm happy to play in my Garden in summer and my shop in winter. I'm happy with the hospital handy. That never bothered me before, sometimes driving for hours to get patched up.

I'll admit that this is not what I had planned for retirement but then I didn't plan on poor health.

I still dream of travel, living in a camper and canoeing on some far away lake. But it isn't going to happen. Not unless some miracle happens. I guess there is change and then there is change. Attitude has a lot to do with how I handle it.

My brother who likes to travel and discovered motor cycles is finding it difficult to wrestle 800 pounds on two wheels anymore. It will be interesting to see how he handles it.

How does one prepare for change since it tends to blindside a person?

How are others handling change, and what are they doing for it?

I like Sunny's attitude. And if you think about it, she has made some pretty big changes in the last couple of years.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 218

Hey hugs4u,

tough question.

I think that life is every changing and meant to be dynamic. Changes can't always be controlled so I believe the best we can do is prepare ourselves as best we can to cope with those impending changes.

As for minimizing changes, perhaps we can go through life trying to limit the extent of change, but I think we still need to have a coping plan in place. If we don't, those changes, whatever they might be will be even harder to tolerate especially if they catch us of guard. Some spontaneity is good for us I'm sure.

Just a thought from my point of view, any other thoughts out there?, I see sunny123 already had some great input on the matter

Matthew - Health Educator

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

When I was living at home, we travelled a lot as Dad was in the military. We moved almost every yr. (England, Germany and France too). Lots of change there, new school, new kids every yr. etc. I have to thank my parents for making it an adventure. They always told us what a great opportunity it was for all of us. It was an education in itself. I remember some friends who told me their mother hated moving all the time. I remember there were family split ups because of it. So maybe it is how we look at it. What I find is that I am still me even with "changes". Not saying all changes are easy but it is interesting to see what lies around the corner or what lessons can be learned from a change we may dislike. Even happy changes cause some anxiety or stress (thinking of a new baby, new home, new job). Maybe it takes patience too, and realizing that it takes time to accustom ourselves while transitioning. Novelty certainly would keep things interesting.

Sunny

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

I wonder if there are any suggestions about minimizing change, so it's better tolerated.

Also, novelty is needed,similar to change, and that's a form of change

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

Lucky you, it is raining here now and the snow is going fast. At least we are working indoors. Enjoy your day.

Davit

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Sunny,

It's a beautify sunny day today, not ironically, perhaps, that we hear from you.

I've heard of the daily exercise of reviewing one's day, similar to a eulogy, as if one has had their last day. It's part of the Ignatian movement, but I've never been able to find that one. I use just a plain review, usually falling asleep.

Maybe I'm trying too hard

I suppose I need to be better rested if I wish to bare my soul. On the subject of bears...I had a stomach ache until i found this joke...

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

'What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks?

'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.'

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.

* 'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

This is a picture of a bear in a slide in the mountain range behind us, it is not a picture of me as some may think.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hello everyone:

Just caught up on some posts. Hey, Davit, speak for yourself! I don't feel like an old lady just yet, I'm not a senior citizen, lol. Just kidding here. Although we may be slower it might be because I don't know "how-to" and have to follow directions and you are sometimes limited in physical abilities because of your arthritis. As you say, one day or two, what does it matter as we are not on a time line. It is fun to work together and see our progress. Carpentry work is definitely a role transition for me. As they say, never too old to learn, not that I'm old. haha

I think what is important is to recognize the fact that tomorrow is another day. I often think the journey (toward a goal) is just as much fun as the goal itself. People often want everything all at once, right now, this instant. I try to remember today is what counts, tomorrow isn't here yet and the past is gone. Enjoy what you have now in front of you, be grateful and appreciate all the good stuff.

Hugs: Sorry you feel "alone". I often had that feeling too. Not lonely though, but definitely alone with my thoughts, my worries, my hopes and dreams, likes and dislikes, etc. It wasn't all bad to be alone, there are pros for it and I enjoyed a lot of it. This may sound weird but I'd like to share this idea. Someone once told me to write my own eulogy. What would I say in it, what would I want others to know about me. I think this exercise might bring out what is important to us and help us on our path to self-discovery. Knowing our self helps in decision making, setting priorities, etc. figure out what we want to "go for" without the hesitation and needless worry, the should I or shouldn't I.

Sunny

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Hi Matt,

I needed a good nights sleep after a rough week. And it's great to know we can gain an hour's sleep tonight

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