Hi Vincenza,
I see someone who's over their head. The toolbox has a wonderfully concise list of ways to be helpful. It's a lot to take in, though. I did take a great course once on empathy, and I think it's one of the best skills to have...who doesn't like a listener?
I think I was having trouble falling into a family "role", since it's a reflex. Maybe I'll do better. It seems with my friend, that he's in the middle of a tornado with too much stress, and i need keep myself from being sucked into the negativity.
I'd liken it to the swimming rescue training, where you have to keep your distance to be of any use.
Maybe I'll review it again. I'm so afraid of speaking, since I'm disappointed with the "track record", and I've been burned so often.
There's an actor named "Don Johnson" who popularized a series called "Miami Vice". His advice was to "Expect Nothing", so you don't become disappointed.
Thanks for this thread