Timing
Timing IS everything. Sometimes we assert our needs and wants at the wrong time. As a result, we don’t get what we need or want. We get an argument. The secret to timing is to get better at taking the other person’s perspective and understanding what they need and want.
Kitchen Sinking
Kitchen sinking is what happens when an argument about one small thing becomes an argument about everything. For example, an argument about whose turn it is to do the dishes, take out the garbage or change the baby becomes an argument about always and never. When things really get going, everything from the past gets dragged up again including old disagreements and hurts, parents and in-laws and…the kitchen sink.
The problem with “kitchen sinking” is that the problem grows from a relatively simple argument into an argument about everything. As a result people get angry and frustrated and lose track of what the dispute is really about. The solution to this problem is to recognize kitchen sinking when it’s happening and to try to keep the dispute focused on the specific situation. If one person can recognize kitchen sinking when it’s happening and hold back from making the argument about everything, then both people have a much better chance of being able to focus on the specific problem at hand.
