Thanks for listening and for the very helpful advice on journaling and reading all I can on core beliefs. I also just posted to the new Mods subject on core beliefs and am going to sign back in on the depression center and do a little reading. There is a lot of information there on core beliefs. Thanks for mentioning the core beliefs I had forgotten all about them. More stuff to read that I have forgotten. Well I am a little tired now so I am going to rest my mind for a while before I start reading again.
I don't want to burn out, my already burned out mind..... That is part of my problem I was really burned out both physically and emotionally before I started working on the programs here..... Now I am taking it slow and easy. I am glad you are here this weekend. It has been nice talking with you.... Take care.
Journaling is hard because you are opening your soul, you are admitting things you don't want to. I like to think of it as talking to a friend who you know absolutely will not blab. The neat thing is that as you re read it you will find things that you modify because you don't want to admit them. The computer is good because you can go back and edit them as you become comfortable with them. If you can try reading all you can on core beliefs. They are little programs that dictate what we think and how we act. They are very powerful and controlling and almost invisible. When they are negative they can cause much pain. Both to you and those you deal with.
I see what you mean. It is hard to make decisions while you are having anxiety because you can not see the picture clearly.
Of course for me making decisions causes me some anxiety. I do get into the what if thinking and also the catastrophe type thinking. I think this re read was a good idea for me. May be I will try journaling and see if that helps. When I went to grief groups back in 2003 they suggested journaling and I just couldn't do it. I wasn't ready to face my feeling at that time. I think I may be able to do so now. For some reason the thought of it gets my anxiety all stirred up. I think it is fear. If I can post here than I should be able to journal. I did find out going to grief groups that it is a process with many stages and everyone goes through it in their own way and order and in there own time frame. I went to this group for a year and every time I went though the 12 sessions I learned something new because my mind was ready to accept it and make sense of it because I had progressed a little more each time we went over the material. I think it is the same way with this program. I didn't get Anxiety attacks and Agoraphobia over night and it will take time to fully recover. It is a ongoing process.
Enough about me, it is good to hear that you were able to expand your safe zone without noticing it, this is real progress and you are right to be proud of it. This is progress also, being proud of your accomplishments. It is also great to hear that you are getting better and your white count is normal. I am glad to see you are on the road to recovery in more ways than one. Keep doing what your doing and you will be well in no time.
A big part of the problem with anxiety is the confusion that comes from only having part of the picture. This is why journaling is so important. During a panic attack you might only have a fraction of the information you need. During anxiety you might have most of it but not enough to make decisions. The fact that you are seeing things you never saw the first time says a lot for your progress. Being able to see the world around you and make constructive decisions will make it easier to travel within it and expand your safe zone to the point where you don't even notice that you have left it.
That is how my day was. I am in a lot of pain but I left and returned to my safe spot without noticing that I did it. I am home and I didn't have any anxiety so I have nothing to build negative on.
Good news, white cell count is in the normal range.
Bad news, medication is making me sleepy and sick.
Good news, Sun is shining and sprinklers are working so who cares about the bad news.
I have been re reading lessons 1 & 2 for the last two days. I am learning and understanding so much more this time. My last reading of the program was 6 months ago. Its like I have taken off my blinders and am I really seeing it for the first time. Some of it I don't remember reading at all. I found the part about automatic anxious thoughts very relevant to my situation. I also found the section that discusses the different types of anxious thoughts very interesting. There are many things of interest in this Lessons. I have no memory of reading this material. I know I read it. I think maybe its because my mind is calmer now and I able to absorb more of the material. I have been working on the program like I said for 6 months..... I have definitely changed in some way. I can't quite put a finger on it but I am liking the it. This is very interesting to me. I am so glad that I decided to re work it is helping me understand myself a lot more and is in turn helping me to make more progress.
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