Hi sara,
the "toilet" and needing to go symptoms were very common for me at the beginning of my battle. In fact i will never forget the first time. Everything inside me came out all in one go.
I of course now know that this is part of the fight/flight preparation of the body as it dumps (excuse the terminology) uneeded baggage to speed up flight part process.
once i got more confident that i knew exactly what was happening and what was going to happen the toilet problems went away.
I still regarded the bathroom as a sanctuary though - it gives me a private space away from colleagues where i could do my breathing control excercises and not scare anyone - sometimes people would even call an ambulance without asking me what was going on.
then i graduated to just walking to the park or around to a quiet lobby and doing my breathing control without anyone noticing.
At the slightest feeling of stress now or any weird bodily sensations i immediately start controlling my breathing ( slowing it) and doing my talking to myself inside routines. Im getting pretty good at fending off the vast majority of attacks now whereas in the past i would always go full blown PA mode.
Im almost major attack free now and i have accepted in my mind that it may come back in the future but i have the tools to deal with it.
The key for me is believing what i read here and other places and more importantly finally believing in myself.
Its not my fault and im not a victim. I just have to deal with it and I WILL!
