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The Mature Quit


18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Parola, [quote] Smoking covered in my case some very difficult emotional issues - which I was partly not aware of it - and partly not able to face it. [/quote] Trust me when I say you are not alone nor in minority here with your statement. I spent more time crying during this quit that I have my entire life. As a matter of fact, your statement perfectly describes what I have gone through. I believe the quit process gives us a clean slate on life and we are allowed to develop into the people we really want to be. In order to accomplish that mission, we have to be able to let go of the past. To let the past go we have to face it head on and deal with the emotions that are associated with it. As you face those emotions that you were either unaware of or unable to deal with chances are you will shed a lot more tears than you already have. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep heading towards that light. On my darkest days, when I cried and couldn't really do much more than that, I leaned on those here for support. I made it through five minutes at a time on many, many occassions. The people here were the light on my path showing me the way to freedom. Freedom not only from a world of addiction but freedom from the past that haunted me as well. I am glad that you posted your struggles here and hope that you will continue to do so. Putting what you are going through into words is part of the process of dealing with the emotions. Continue to work through it and know that you are not alone and that things really do get better. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 296 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,934 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1036 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good afternoon Joe and Duffis. I sense another great debate on the horizon here. Interesting question�. Can we grow into maturity as a function of the decision to quit or is the quit process a function of the maturing process? Hmmmmm.. Kind of makes me wonder. Maturity leads to quit � yes and no. I feel I was mature long before my quit. Throughout life I�ve had a lot of responsibilities and always took them seriously and to me that is a form of maturity. My decision to quit had a lot to do with the fact that I just didn�t want to �want to smoke� anymore. I didn�t want to die a horrible death and I wanted to stop living a lie. (Closet smoker) Does the quit lead to maturity? My quit has lead to more personal growth than I think I have experienced in my entire life. Would I have experienced these levels of growth and maturity had I not quit smoking? I don�t think so. I look at younger people as immature and I tend to look at older people as having a certain level of maturity already whether they smoke or not. In terms of age, I�m not a young quitter, but I�m not an older quitter either. So this is a question that I throw back at you, Joe and Duffis, along with any other older quitters out there. Have you matured more since quitting smoking or did you quit smoking because of your level of maturity? In response to what you said Duffis, I too have watched people come and go over the past several months. I have tried to help as many quitters as I possibly could and sometimes it just doesn�t do any good. I believe we have to let go of the pity in our quits. All three of us know that I have spent a lot of time in that pity pot and had I not gotten my butt out of it when you put me in my place I would probably be smoking today. Yes the quit comes from within, but outside influences also assists in molding and shaping the new person that develops within during the quit process. The non-smoking �me� is not the same as the �me� that smoked. I don�t think you two are the same people anymore either. I have seen changes in both of your personalities as well along this journey so I believe the maturity is coming as a result of the quit. Is it maturity or change? Are these two things (maturity and change) identical or different? I r
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rob... Somehow I envision you and Riverdaleman having a conversation such as the one listed above. :p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 295 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,918 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1032.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Coberfan... I agree with you that maturity and success really have nothing to do with each other. In order to be successful one must simply never give up. If at first you don�t succeed, try, try again and I haven�t failed but found 10,000 ways that didn�t work (I think that was B. Franklin). The definition of success and the various levels differ as do the people who obtain success. My virtue of success may be considered failure to another. I would like to address the fact that in my opinion the remarks by both Duffis and Joe to Rob were in fact right where they needed to be. I simply chose to ignore his post. Through this quit process we have been through hell and come out on the other side. I don�t believe the attitudes expressed here are that of being full of ones self or thinking we are more righteous than others. The voice of experience is what you see being expressed. The quit process will take you to levels in your mind and your life that you never thought possible. This is a continuing growth process and the farther in the quit we get, the more we learn not only about ourselves but about others as well. Often newer quitters will think the older quitters believe themselves to be above others. I have also been accused of having such an attitude. That is not the case at all. We are all one puff away from being full blown addicts again. However, as we learn, grow, and mature in our quits, we gain knowledge that takes us to new levels. You are 28 days into your quit and Rob is at 63 days. I anxiously await your attitudes when you are around 300 days and want to see what you do with the knowledge you have gained. Will you simply go away, or will you too pay it forward as Joe, Duffis and I have all done. Will you two also spend hours at the SSC reading posts and trying to come up with new ideas of ways to help people that are struggling with the addiction? Trust me when I say none of us are here to belittle anyone. We are simply here to share what we have learned so that others may beat the most horrible addiction that exists. Is this a level of maturity? Well, I guess it is. We no longer say I can�t, I can�t or compare ourselves to others. We simply know that we will because failure is no longer an option.
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
[quote] I can tell you though, and I can only speak for myself, that seeing people start and then fade away is more and more frustrating for me the longer I am quit. This is not due from any distain for newbies, but because my level of freedom from this horrible addiction is so unbelievable that I want so desperately for others to obtain the same freedom I have. [/quote] Well said Joe. I concur 100% [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 295 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,919 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1032.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 1 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Awe Phillip. Don't be afraid of us. :8o: :eg: Go ahead and tell us what you think. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 296 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,921 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1036 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Parola, [quote] That there is a change is going on. It is exciting, frightening at the same time - asks a lot of openess and conscioussness at the same time. The question is - do I have enough energy to be on this path? [/quote] I certainly hope you find the energy to travel the path because it is definately a soul searching, life changing experienced that has enriched my life beyond measure. One step at a time. That is how we get there. There may not be a lot of signs on the outside and to others but when the changes come from within they are the most rewarding and self satistifying. Congratulations on your 30 days quit. What a milestone! You are doing awesome. As far as the messenger, contact support through feedback. They will help you get it working. Have a great Smoke Free Day! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 300 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,006 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1050 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 26 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
18 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Christine, Thanks for the clarification. One of the things I discovered, after having been quit a long while, is that the veterans here are often times easy targets because we often post about things dealing more with insight than the physical actions of a quit. Insights are usually just opinions formed by experience. I have one direct "assist" to my credit in that a guy in the warehouse where I work quit after seeing me quit for so long and having numerous conversations with him about my quit. That was extremely rewarding. I'm actually quite envious of his quit as he quit cold turkey and had virtually no bad craves or other issues. For some it comes so easy. He was a 2 pack a day smoker for 25+ years. RD Man.. please post what you had written. It is only in the sharing of thoughts that people grow. I've posted many things that a lot of folks didn't like and look at me now! ;p Who is Coben??? [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=purple]Hoping for success without hard work is like trying to harvest without planting.[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 343 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,584 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $840.35 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 60 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53
  • Quit Meter

    $36,340.80

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 9770 Hours: 10

    Minutes: 31 Seconds: 16

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45426

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    363,408

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rob, It's easy to wax philosophical about quitting once you have conquered it. And yes, I say that with confidence and a bit of bravado. Sue me. :p [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=purple]Hoping for success without hard work is like trying to harvest without planting.[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 342 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,569 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $837.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 59 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22
  • Quit Meter

    $36,340.80

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 9770 Hours: 10

    Minutes: 31 Seconds: 16

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45426

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    363,408

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I was reading a story today on the Internet about the trend in smoking bans. A small town in Alabama was highlighted and one of the residents summed things up about smoking quite nicely. He said �I grew out of it�. �I grew out of it�. What does that suggest? To me that suggests that quitting smoking has a lot to do with maturity. Now maturity can occur at 16 as easily as it can at 60. There have been many posts here about that �moment� when you decided to quit. What was so special about it? Much as been written and it seems that the common denominator is a realization that it�s just �time to quit�. Can this be the final step in maturing? [b][color=black]Maturity is[/color] [color=red]�Having reached full natural growth or development.�[/color][/b] Those who really struggle with their quits, I wonder if they also struggle with other parts of their lives. I am not pointing fingers, I am simply asserting a hypothesis. Can our maturity in life be connected with our quits? Do we quit once we �grow up�? Quitting involves breaking a chemical addiction to nicotine. We all know that. I believe that being in control of our lives better prepares us to quit an addiction... any addiction. Assess your situation. Are you struggling? Do you constantly fight the craves? Look at the rest of your life. How do you feel about it? Are you confident in all the other aspects of your life? Can we grow into maturity as a function of the decision to quit or is the quit process a function of the maturing process? Just food for thought. [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=purple]Hoping for success without hard work is like trying to harvest without planting.[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 342 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,566 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $837.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 59 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
  • Quit Meter

    $36,340.80

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 9770 Hours: 10

    Minutes: 31 Seconds: 16

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45426

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    363,408

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

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