The Stress Response and Role Transition
This topic is so applicable to my current situation, instead of just reading and learning, I feel compelled to post an issue at hand. I have read through the Role transition module although it was skipping ahead. In the recent (2 months) past, my father has become sick (in addition to his alcoholism and as a direct result). After my mother died, I had a role transition with him and handled that one so-so. After having read this module and what you wrote I can understand why that one was a bit easier even though I was coping with the death of my mother simultaneously.
My father's liver is failing (not sure where yet, awaiting news from the doctor). He is jaundiced, disoriented, confused, forgetful, not taking care of himself, has swelling literally from toe to his throat, is not eating, had difficulty breathing......and is drinking, but fewer beers he tells me (I know because there is no room for it due to fluid retention). I am having difficulty transition to the role of caretaker to him, when I can barely take care of myself (in fact, do not take care of myself). I also have a multitude of emotions regarding his drinking over my life time, his increased drinking since mom passed, his dependency on me, his addictive behaviors, his denial and the denial that my brother has towards the whole **** thing (reality). I think one of these emotions is resentment. lol, that was hard to recognize. I thought I had accepted that I was powerless of his addiction but now the power of his addiction is, is, is _____ I don't know!
I can't write anymore.
