Great quote Lore....I really like that one.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing,

 

Wow Lore, you've really been through the hoops on this one!  I remember a year or so back when you first joined up...actually, it was the same time as me.  We were both wrecks back then....you sound so much stronger now it's like night and day!  Keep up the strength, you deserve that better life, and we're all here rooting for ya!

 

Cheers!

Hey guys thanks so much for the welcome and always always supporting.

Sweetbee, nice to meet you and thanks so much for the kindest words. 

I'm reading this book called "Flying without Wings". It's an autobiography about a prior tennis athlete who becomes disabled with polio. It is really encouraging and if any of you want to feel some support, this book has it.

 

"I have lost all, but found myself." -John Clark

Welcome back hun. Thank you for the update and I hope to hear from you a lot!

 

 

 

            Hi Lore,

 

 

           First let me say welcome back to the forums, Second I would like to tell you what a strong person you are

           to have been through so much! I understand what you went through being married to someone in the service

           as I had a brother who was in the army years ago and I lived with him for awhile so I saw alot! It is not an easy

           life to adjust to, but you can not blame yourself for your husband not wanting to work on your marriage.

           Count this as his loss!!! Now is the time for you to work on yourself for YOU! Anxiety has a way of  damaging

           our self esteem, so give yourself permission to love and nurture you, as you are worth it! And then with the program

           you can work on the things you want to achieve!  I know that you will be able to go out again and do things

           you want and with confidence as you have the drive and strength to do so! so hang in their and keep the faith.

           

I wanted to re-introduce myself.

It is going to be my 3rd year into anxiety disorder. The first time I got it was when I tried drugs with my friends... during that time it was a stressful time in my life. I married young at 19 with my first and only bf and he went into the military. He was always gone and I had to adjust my lifestyle according to his so that I can keep up. I had to make new friends and family since I moved away from my home town and the first time I got PA was after he came back from deployment. It was hard for me to adjust being a wife again when all the people I knew who were my age were single and still figuring things out. I didn't have anyone I can relate to and the person(husband) that can relate was always gone to other countries. I went on Lexapro after that and for a year we did well. Then he had to leave again for 6 months so I left the city that I finally got used to, to move back with my family. That is the same time I got off of Lexapro (bad timing) and the withdrawal symptoms, new lifestyle, and loneliness didn't mix too well. That is when I started this site. I was at my worst ever then and I went into depression and had agoraphobia. I didn't understand what the point of life was anymore and I felt really hopeless. After my husband came back from the 6 months, I was still at my most critical point and he eventually didn't  want to deal with me anymore. He hated me having anxiety disorder and began isolating me. I was still living in my home town at this time and he lived in the other town so we were not even living together. I wanted things to work out so I moved back in with him while still having agoraphobia and dealing with his isolation towards me. He didn't speak to me the whole time and I knew it was not worth it anymore. I moved back home and I filed for divorce. He is the only bf that I've ever have and i was with him for 9 years straight. The reality of it all is kicking in now and it's just shocking to me that we are not together anymore. He is now playing the victim since I filed for divorce. On top of that all, I have paid a lot of money to hire a lawyer for the divorce who is now falling for his role as a victim while he has managed to show me off his new gf. Also all of my friends have turned their backs on me since it's too much for them to understand. I have been more numb of the whole situation and after writing it here, I realize, dam that's a lot of bs! I realize that I am dealing with a lot right now and I am proud that I still haven't given up on life yet. I get a lot of support from my family but their kindness sometimes turns into pressure and guilt to me. But I am going to keep leaning on their shoulder for now so that I can fully recover to give them all that I can back. I am going to persevere and keep growing. 

Hello all, thanks for the reply.

I don't really have much of a coping strategy yet. I usually become anxious when I go out into public alone, which is what I'm avoiding right now until the divorce ends. I get anxious sometimes at home but usually I have this sheet of affirmations that I read to myself and my family helps me out a lot too. My last resort is my meds of Xanax that I keep with me, and I've only had to take a fourth of it once and that was it. 

Heya Miki/Lore! (Lol, not sure which you prefer now)

 

Glad to hear you're keeping with it, especially with all that's going on.  You're a pretty amazing girl! 

Keep with it, you're doing great...and you always have the folks here cheering you on!

Hi Lore!

 

Nice to hear from you.  I'm glad your still striving.  What has been some coping strategies that have worked for you?

 

Ashley