EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Anxiety
Goal Setting and Exposure Planning
old member, new goal :)

Advanced Search Form

old member, new goal :)

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Hi Davit,

Thanks for the post. I always appreciate your insights.

When I compare how I was feeling and functioning when I joined this site to today, I can see definite changes. I am one of those people who likes to know why and how about things so I have learned a lot about panic and anxiety and negative thinking. I still struggle sometimes. I have made huge progress in the area of healthy boundaries although I still have room to grow in that area too. CBT helps with the other issues I am struggling with.

I am also way more aware of how often I am around negative thinkers.

I am thinking about the moderators question about what you would want the future you in 5 years or 10 years to say to you and I definitely know that I want to be able to be myself which is an optimistic and realistic person who knows how to be content in life.

I still get caught because I have trouble being alone but alone time is needed in order to disengage from other people and know oneself better. I want to be able to 'unhook" as it is sometimes referred to from things like other people's expectations and demands.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

We are not born thinking negative, it is learned, even survival techniques which are negative are learned.

You are right though about some people using CBT subconsciously. Only they don't know it as that, they just do it. The reason they or you for that matter, since I believe you were not always like you are now, stop using these coping skills that we know as CBT now, is not known for sure. Too many variables. But the biggest reason is environment. If you are around negative people you don't have to think like them till something traumatic happens to make it all seem logical. A "there is no hope" syndrome.

So now you know that these CBT techniques work and why you need them, it is just a matter of applying them. And the neat thing is with time you will go back to using them subconsciously. A cure one might say even though in fact it is a control.

Good luck with this, I think you are on the right road. I'm sure you will find a way to live among the negative without living it.

Davit.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Few things I wanted to share here.

First, I read a good article online about CBT and it discussed how a lot of people use CBT without realizaing it, that those of us who have to learn these strategies and techniques and skills are learning something that other people may be doing "naturally". They might have learned more realistic thinking habits from their parents for example. This article helped me because it framed CBT skills as being similar to learning any other skill you want to hone such as reading, painting etc...

Second, I recently spent some time with someone and I lost count of how many negative things this person said about themselves because almost everything they said was a negative statement about themselves. It was like someone was holding a mirror up to me in a way. When we don't have anyone positive around us modelling healhty habits of self care, when work drags us down, when we have been around people for years who do not say kind things to us, that negative thinking about ourselves takes hold and becomes very strong.

I tried to pay this person a compliment at one point and they literally could not hear it and ignored it. I don't think this person hears their own negative self talk for what it is (destructive) and does not realize that not everyone thinks like that. When I saw this, I was reminded of the time before I got to this site or read about self esteem and thought that everyone's thoughts were cynical and judgemental much of the time.

I think that these learnings and observations are helping me with my own prgress.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Thanks everyone for posting here. Hi Red!

Steve, that is a good strategy. I have started to write down things that I don't want to forget instead of trying to remember the to do list without writing it all down. Thanks for posting your ideas.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Welcome back Loves Trees...I haven't here for a while myself..Nice to see you and everyone again..

Welcome Steve..Glad you found the site and forum..Nice to have you here..

Red..

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Thanks for the welcome, Hugs!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Thanks for the kind words, Shari!

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Welcome back Lt & welcome steve,

Reading a book on organizing, an author described her ADHD child as having a "Ferrari engine-like mind, with Chevy auomobile brakes".

Does that sound familiar, as an analogy for your brain, since it's like mine, for certain

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Welcome back loves trees!

Steve

Thank you for your insightful post and for sharing it. You helped me a lot regarding thoughts that you couldn't do something about, you choose to give them as little attention as possible. That is a powerful statement and I am going to use that in the future. You have very valuable insight and knowledge and I hope you post a lot more in the future. We could all benefit from what you have to share. Thank you so much!

Shari

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Hi Loves Trees,

I'm a newb (in week 3), but I have been struggling with racing thoughts in reference to all the things I have to take care of... my neverending to-do list. Anyway, I had a breakthrough of sorts today that really worked for me and may work for you. In the past, I've either just let the racing thoughts take over. At best, I would write them down, but I would find that I couldn't stop thinking of things to put down on paper. This would help a bit, but would result in writer's cramp and thoughts that would still race. Today, I realized that I need to limit what I write down. I wrote down 5 thoughts, concerns, worries, tasks, etc. and resolved act on each of them individually before I addressed the dozens more that were racing through my head. This slowed my thinking down, gave me some control, and yielded one of my more productive days in months.

Also, I only listed thoughts that I could actually control or do something about. The other thoughts, the ones I can't affect with my behavior, I am choosing to give as little attention to as possible. I can't do anything about them anyway, so they don't need my attention.

Anyway, I hope this helps in some way. Welcome back.

~Steve

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

old member, new goal :)