Cuddles,
I too, know the emptiness of depression. You MUST claw your way through, and keep going ~ still taking one moment at a time.
It only seems, TO YOU, that you don't care. But that is the depression looking out, not you. You do care, we all know that. Your words say that. You just can't see them right now......
I do understand when you say you are just so tired of being sad..... I was too. I was tired of crying, tired of being tired, tired of life, tired of sadness. I even said that I no longer felt enjoyment from my kids.... I do know that I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to feel something other than sadness......... Anything!! It scares me to remember those days.
I am on the road to recovery from my depression. If it takes my entire life to do so, then that is okay with me. I just do not want to ever feel that blackness, that emptiness, that sadness again. I am on meds now, and thankfully, the first try worked.
You must feel exhausted......
Please Cuddles, take the time and find yourself again. You know that you MUST get help. Tell your doctor that you need to go beyond the meds. You must get a councelor. One that will help you see through YOUR eyes, instead of the depression. Find yourself..........
Never give up on you. You are worth it. You are here. We are here. Let us walk with you. Let us help open the doors to light your way through this journey. It's not just about not smoking. It's about finding this new life as a new person. Finding a way to look and feel again in life without addiction.
It is worth the fight! Just like Lady said, [color=Purple]I have to believe it is worth it. The work is worth it. Without hope, we have nothing. [/color]
Remember that Cuddles. Without hope, there is nothing for us to reach for. Nothing for us to hold on to. Nothing.
Blessings,
4my2girls
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 379
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,399
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1239.33
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 30 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30