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How to Cope

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 130

Today is the last emotional trigger for this year. It's the anniversary of our marriage. I keep thinking that each year I will be better but it just hasn't happened yet. The bad time for me is from Memorial Day weekend when my husband went into the hospital for the last time, his death, then his birthday and then our anniversary. So maybe I can just settle down emotionally and keep going with the flow from here on out.

"The first year is about survival, the second you feel the recovery." Great, Moss. Thanks. I'll keep that as my linch pin as time wears on. You must be a wonderful teacher and your students are lucky to have you. I do have to say that the time has flown from when I started the quit. The first month moved slowly but, since then, it's been zooming on by. Love my stats and the money I've saved!

Karren, my thanks for your understanding. It truly means a lot.

Moss, Bordentown is so far south, it may as well not be in NJ.

Yup, our shore is great, but for great waves, you can't beat Long Beach Island. Wildwood is too tame but the beach is nice. And I know about the accent bit. My family is originally from PA and every time we went to visit as kids, we were teased unmercifully about our so-called Jersey accents. But most Jerseyans do not talk like the Sopranos.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/22/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 248
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,960
Amount Saved: $1,537.60
Life Gained:
Days: 31 Hrs: 20 Mins: 24 Seconds: 3

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1080

ML I hope you are feeling a bit better today. You're quit and stats are such an inspiration, and your help support and advice has been so encouraging for me.

Please let us know how you're doing, and dont ever hold back on talking about anything (or Moss) hey thats what we are here for- it always helps to share (((Hugs)))

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 5/10/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 78
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 1,950
Amount Saved: $1,170.00
Life Gained:
Days: 9 Hrs: 4 Mins: 58 Seconds: 28

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 649

Good morning ML

Hope the last 2 days have brought you some comfort. Don't feel alone, I'm still having some rough times but like you, I get afraid to post about it and feel like this should be done with. I think it was Lizzie who said a while back. "the first year is about survival, the second you feel the recovery". Not an exact quote but close I think.

On a side note, I remember you said you were from New Jersey in a geographical thread. I spent a few weeks in Jersey every summer growing up. My mother's family was from the Bordentown area and they also had a trailer at the shore near Wildwood. I have a lot of good memories of our time at the boardwalk and beach. The neighborhood kids would ask me to talk so they could here my Wisconsin accent. I thought it was them who had the accent. And Jersey still has the best pizza (tomato pie) I have ever had. I can still taste it years later.

Anyway, you are in my good wishes. Have a good Sunday today and I hope the mental chatter has been kinder for you.

Moss

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/19/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 251
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,765
Amount Saved: $847.13
Life Gained:
Days: 40 Hrs: 9 Mins: 14 Seconds: 47

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 130

Henny Penny, Breanne and Patrick, thanks for sticking with me. It is most appreciated.

Moss - How can I thank you for doing the research and finding that thread? I read the whole thing twice and see where I am lacking in skills and understanding. I really thought that by this time I would be further along but now I think I know why I'm not. I recently started counseling again and this counselor is digging deep. She thinks that possibly I am placing roadblocks along my path. As with RiverdaleMan, I didn't want to upset the newbies, nor did I want to bring my widowhood into the equation. But one affects the other and trying to cope with both was ripping me apart. I am much calmer. And, thanks to you Moss, more understanding of why I'm feeling as I do. Your wonderful support is helping me to keep the quit. This is inadequate but thank you.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/22/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 246
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,920
Amount Saved: $1,525.20
Life Gained:
Days: 31 Hrs: 14 Mins: 14 Seconds: 7

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 649

I bumped a thread in Avoiding Relapse that might help with some perspective. I ran across this after Henny Penny mentioned it. It is a good read and talks about having some time under your belt and still teetering. I hope something resonates for you. Will keep you in my thoughts ML. Let us know how you are doing.

Moss

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/19/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 249
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,735
Amount Saved: $840.38
Life Gained:
Days: 40 Hrs: 2 Mins: 4 Seconds: 48

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

ML,

I am glad you decided to come back for some help and support. We are always here for you.

Stay strong ML, you will get through this.

Members, can you please share some words of wisdom and advice with ML?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1890

ML, you have to fight against these images in your mind; these pictures of people standing and smoking. You know as well as I do that that smoke they're pulling down into their lungs is just full of pain and hurt and will make you feel nothing so much as sick to your stomach and then to your mind. You have made a huge part of your life healthier for the last 246 Days - you need to keep your emotions clear as you deal with being without your husband. Don't depress yourself by smoking those weed-sticks. Stay close to the site and shout when you are struggling.

Patrick

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 1/18/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 189
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,725
Amount Saved: $2,126.25
Life Gained:
Days: 35 Hrs: 3 Mins: 15 Seconds: 19

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 433

Hello ML,

Very sorry to read that things have taken a turn downward. Just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. And it could get way worse by smoking again. I like what Patrick said about what happens when you go back to smoking... that it be like a weight upon your soul. At least through this very, very rough time you have the inner knowledge that you have reached a remarkable achievement. A year ago, you never would have imagined this great progress. I am so glad you are posting instead of smoking.

I was barely hanging on this last weekend so I spent most of the weekend reading old posts. Really old posts. It helped me to get out of my own story for a minute and see how others dealt with it.

I hope you are still staying strong for yourself. You said earlier in this thread that you would like to see 365 on your meter... you are so close! If there was a magic wand I could wave for you, I would. Do know that I'm sending some warm thoughts and hugs your way.

In the meantime, stay close to this board. Everyone is here rooting for you.

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 4/1/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 114
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 2,736
Amount Saved: $656.64
Life Gained:
Days: 14 Hrs: 0 Mins: 42 Seconds: 36

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 130

Things seemingly are going from bad to worse this past week. Just when I get something resolved, another something pops up. It's funny but on Tuesday, I saw a woman smoking in a parking lot and I said to myself, thank heavens, that's not me. But, pow, yesterday and today have been brutal and I picture that woman standing there with her cigarette. I know smoking will not cure what ails me but I'm teetering on the brink. I wasn't going to come back and ask for help again but I truly need it.
My Milage:

My Quit Date: 11/22/2007
Smoke-Free Days: 245
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,900
Amount Saved: $1,519.00
Life Gained:
Days: 31 Hrs: 11 Mins: 19 Seconds: 10

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

ML,

Good for you for getting active in your progress and good for you for keeping the quit. We are here to support you through this time as it can be a trigger for you. Continue working with your doctor and let us help with the cravings and the celebration of your 365 days!

Josie, Health Educator

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