You know, when I was still smoking, "I'm a loser" is a part of what was going through my head all the time. Did I smoke because I was a loser, or was I a loser because I smoked? Most of the time I wasn't sure, and I still haven't figured it out, even now.
What I can tell you for sure, though, is that the nicodemon (mine is named Vlad) whispers to me that I'm a loser when I smoke. Interestingly enough, Vlad also whispers to me that I'm a loser when I've quit, [i]to try and get me to smoke![/i]"Aaawww ... come on. Your life's not so great. How much is it really worth? Have a smoke and see if that doesn't help you feel better. All the cool kids are doing it."
This is to say, Vlad the Nicodemon has no concept of reality. I'm not a loser. You're not a loser. My life may not be perfect, your life may not be, either. But I think John McCain said that any day that starts out with a doorknob on your side of the door is a good day. (Wasn't John McCain a POW? If not, I apologize to whoever it was I've just quoted.) Your life is a good one, worth saving, worth living fully. It's also a life that you can control, take charge of, make changes in.
There's a knob on your side of the door. Don't buy a pack, don't bum any more, make a commitment and honor it.
p.s. I highly recommend naming your Nicodemon. Then you can say things like, "Ha! I LAUGH at you, Vlad! Go back to Transylvania and impale yourself!" However, it is very unwise to have those kinds of conversations out loud, especially in public places, i.e. in the pet section of Walmart, during church services, at your children's school bookfair, etc.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/27/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 26
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 404
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $78
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26