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Fear of Fear


SimplyCatherine
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9 years ago 0 111 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I had a panic attack for the first time in almost a year of not more. I had that panic attack two days ago at around 9pm. Though the anxiety started building at 7:30 pm. I tried to keep it at bay by taking an anxiety pill and by distracting myself. I tried talking myself into being calm. But I had the panic attack anyway. It took all my "take as needed pills" and a few extra pills from an old prescription (I know I shouldn't take pills that are not prescribed at the moment but I needed them) for me to calm down. It also took me talking to my mom on the phone for like 2 hours until I calmed down. It was really a bad experience. 

Now, I keep being afraid of panicking again. It's like my worse fear is fear itself. I monitor myself  constantly for signs of anxiety which only makes me feel more anxious. I am avoiding doing stuff in case it makes it worse. I am trying to distract myself by filling in therapy homework forms and by reading self-help stuff. I keep wanting to take pills. And I keep thinking:

Oh no, I am going to panic again!!!
 or
I am on my way to panicking!
or 
I have relapsed and I am going to get stuck like this!

Mostly I think variations of "oh no I am about to panic…"

What do I do and how can I help myself feel better?

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