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Fear of Mental Illness

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Wow,

I loe the matrix metaphor thanks. For me too that particular realisation was a major step in my recovery.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

I think one of my greatest step forward was to realize that the spoon can bend. When I was really 'sick' I knew that the spoon will NEVER bend. I now know it will... I still don't know how, but I think that was one thing I finally let go. And it is surely that odd freedom.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

I'm glad you doubted my anxiety! Makes me feel sorta accomplished, like I'm on the right path. Thanks for that!

And you're right about the "I see you negative thoughts, but good bye!". Getting to this step was a pain, the step itself can still be cumbersome...like I'm walking on broken glass...but I see sandy beaches and plump fields of green grass on the other side. So might as well go with the whole "no pain, no gain", workout ethics.

Have you ever watched The Matrix, Miki? Remember the scene where all the kids were bending spoons? I almost feel like one of those kids...and the spoon is my current mentality, solid as a iceberg, like it can't be changed without great force, but it can...what I choose to make real, is becoming such. It's an odd freedom, but damn it feels good to be free!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hey Joe,

In the other posts, seeing how positive you are, I sort of doubted that you even had anxiety disorder, just a tad. But I see that you make the effort to make things work and I love that. It's inspiring and I've learned that that is how it all works. It's our power and decision to do so. It's like, I see you, negative thoughts, but good bye!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

jhori82,

That is so good to hear. You have such a positive outlook, and a great thought process. Challenging your negative thoughts is definitely a challenge, but you seem well on your way to mastering it.

Stay strong, in both body and mind

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

What works for me, and the tragedy may be it only works for me...but in case it helps someone:

When I go to a bar or club (or anywhere really), I always find myself getting self conscious. I'm not going to get along with anyone. I bet they hate me for the way I just looked at them. I'm ugly. I'm dumb. All the negative, unsubstantiated thoughts I can create. Well now, I just kind of accept it. Literally, like f-word it. I feel this way.

Now when I chill right after I accept it, of course those thoughts try to race over and over like a Nascar race in my head, but I don't let myself think them. It's a battle many times, but I let myself think nothing. Look around and enjoy the surroundings, people smiling, people getting along, some not getting along, what ever! What ever is going on, I let myself take it in. If the demon in me tries to start up the self conscious thoughts, I stop myself from thinking all together. This is still something I'm not even close to mastering, work in progress kinda deal...but the more I do it, the better I get at it (which means it requires less focus - very helpful for a round the world in 60 seconds mind like mine), and the better I feel overall. The more I find myself smiling for no reason. Like a kid with a lollipop.

Here's a good quote, it helps give me strength to do things like the above:

I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.
Edward Everett Hale

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi CM

Well cm.. I can understand the negative thoughts being overwhelmingly powerful. There was a time I would go to sleep with a negative and wake up with that same thought still there... I hated that.

Unfortunately though, we are the only ones who can change that thought pattern. It's not easy but definately possible and YOU can do this cm. If I can, anyone can.

When a negative thought enters your mind you need to replace it with a positive one. Tedious but effective.

The thought about how are you going to get through the day... That's an easy one... You've gotten through every day since this began and that adds up to a whole bunch of successful days right there... You are strong cm..you just need to learn to channel the energy into a positive way...and that takes time and patience. This negative thinking we do took a long time to form.. you have to give yourself the same time to unlearn it and replace it with something great....You're worth the work...and each day it will get a bit easier.

I find keeping a gratitude journal really helps. Every morning start out by writing 5 things your grateful for...they can be as simplistic as "this great cup of coffee" or "having sunlight streaming through the blinds" ...to something more profound.. Soon you'll have a book of all the positives in your life and that can be really reassuring on a bad day...

Take care cm and keep posting

Dazed

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya Brenna:

Thanks for your response. I do realize the importance breathing plays in a panic attack and will try it again at some point in time.

Challenging negative thoughts thats the really big challenge shall we say for me. I am so good at coming up with loads of negative thoughts but challenging them is a big problem for me as I believe the thoughts. One example of a recurring thought is when I wake up in the morning I think to myself how am I going to get through the day? This really worries me as I haven't been able to work since Jan/07 and basically have nothing to do all day but get more negative thoughts. I feel as if I have no control over the thoughts because I can think of nothing to refute them most of the time.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya CD:

Thanks for your reply, it's a relief to know that other people are in the same boat with the breathing exercise

Sorry to hear about your attack, hopefully at least you can identify the trigger. I had quite a lot of full blown attacks myself so you have my sympathies.

I started learning the Taoist form of Tai Chi, it's a 108 moves with a lot of repetition. I find it's the only thing now days that really relaxes me. There are other forms of Tai Chi but I really enjoy this one.

Maybe you can find a Taoist Tai Chi class location close to you.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Ya Miki:

Thanks for your reply, I hope you find a method that works for you because I have read about the benefits.

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