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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thank you Davit and Sunny for your words of wisdom on this matter... I felt calmer just reading the posts. Sometimes I just don't know what is healthy (positive) or what is negative thoughts and behaviors that should be changed. Sounds like being a bit discombobulated after a trip is normal for many reasons.

I realize too, that my days with baby are never mine to plan... it all depends on her developmental stage and her nap schedule... BUT, I have June and July off from bbsitting and suddenly find my time is my very own, to do with as I please. Whoa! What a concept :)

Today I got up early, walked the dogs, worked on the yard to prepare flower beds and now get to check in with my friends... It feels really good. My daughter wants me to go on vacation with them so I can babysit.... I think I'm going to decline that invitation.... self-care and all that (thinking of the example set by Sid). Life is good.

Oh, except for the part about pictures. You put your finger on a sore spot that needs attention... I don't "do" photographs.... I don't take them and I do not allow pictures to be taken of me. People do not react well to my desire to not be photographed... feelings get hurt and ppl feel frustrated with me over this. I like to look at other people's photos. Love to see their lives and loves. I don't want to hang them in my house... or keep them on display... I just don't "do" photographs. Is that OK? Or something that needs to change?

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi -m: Yes, I am home again (Tues. afternoon) and did exactly what you did. Sort of like decompressing. (Even business people after a trip have a debriefing). Took the time to readjust to the new schedule and demands. I wonder if it is sadness though (except for missing loved ones - whom you can see again, remember that). During my trip - almost a month long - I saw so many new things and met new people and made some friends too. There was lots of visual and mental stimulation. When you get home to familiar surroundings maybe it feels like a let down because your brain can go into neutral (used to those scenes at home). Give it two or three days, you'll be back to the old rhythm in no time. Maybe you don't want the old rhythm, well, probably it won't be exactly the same because now you have had some new experiences and will have new topics of conversation. If you get lonesome for the trip or people, just look up the photos you have taken. They're great to bring back those good feelings and don't forget the telephone or Skype if you have it, nice to hear the voice of loved ones. It's not the same as being there but they aren't "lost" to us.

Hope this helps, that's how I look at it anyway.

Your friend, Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I would have to agree with Dh. My solution would be to look around and see how good life can be and how much better it was with the vacation. If you lived that vacation life all the time it would get ho hum and what would you have to look forward to. What would you hold out as a treat to make all the crap worth while. We with PD have so many days that are not great so it is natural to miss the good ones. I don't even have to go on vacation. All I have to do is have a pain free day and the next day when I don't, I feel sad. Comes and goes. Days I can, I do and days I can't, I plan. Right now everything is planned around the weather.

I miss sunny. It was like a vacation I guess and now for a while I will have to fill my days till she comes back. She probably feels similar. Or something like you do.

It will pass. I'm keeping busy as I can.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thank you ALL for your kindness and caring...

A question about post-vacation blues. Dh says it is a sign of a great vacation to feel depressed after. That doesn't seem right. What is your take on this? Sunny, you just got home (or are about to).... any tips for how to manage? Yesterday I just let it be... took about 3 naps... read some... asked little of myself... except to catch up on laundry. So, I am experiencing a level of sadness that clings.... but is not growing into major anxiety with fear of being sad for the rest of my life or deciding to never travel because it hurts too much (which is one thing that kept me from traveling in the past). Just wondering what a "healthy response" would be...

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thanks so much for your kindness and caring!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

You are truly inspiring. I can feel your joy and elation. I'm so happy for you, for the experience you had and

even while on the flight home, I'm sure M was with you the entire time

Thank you for sharing!

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

You are so amazing. Congratulations. I am so happy for you. Who knows, maybe I can overcome my disability and do a trip I have always wanted to do. I might not be as disabled as I think.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

-m! Your post has made me so happy. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing your moments - parents, horseshoe crabs. You described everything so well. I can feel it and makes me smile and feel good inside. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!

Your friend, Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Hi, I am back. The whole trip went extremely well... experienced much joy and very little anxiety. My heart and soul feel very, very full to overflowing. I almost can't believe I did it... but, I did and was blessed by so much... so much. Living in the desert as I do... going to the beach was a very special experience. Spawning horseshoe crabs (endangered) were washed upon the shore with the high tide and stuck in the sand upsidedown.... we turned them over and sent them back to the ocean... 98 horseshoe crabs saved. I spent two days weeding and mulching a flower garden and am inspired to grow one of my own... inspired also by amazing artwork in galleries and homes... saddened by parents aging with the physical and mental degeneration that comes, but profoundly moved by how they manage... how in sync they are with each other. Saddened a bit sharing a flight with military service men and women... missing M, but smiling inside at the youthful exuberance.... This trip solidified for me how far forward I've moved on this, my healing journey... in this, my life. I am in awe.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Thanks for the encouragement Davit and Sunny. Sunny, I especially appreciate your description of anticipating your own trip... a lot of my own thoughts reflected and you make it sound so normal and ok. I will be looking for the joy... and enjoying the looking

"See" you when I get back.

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