Hi everyone,
I'm so glad I've found this site, because I already feel better about what is happening to me. Reading what I've read so far makes me know that I can be in control - but it's going to take time. That, for me is the hard part. Besides my homelife as a mother, wife, etc, I am a storyteller. I go out to libraries and schools and do programs for families and students, and the last place I ever thought I would panic is in front of an audience - until last Thursday. Right in the middle of a story, this awful thought just popped into my head, the hot flush began, and I couldn't continue. I got a chair and sat down, then kept going while fighting these thoughts in my head about how I didn't want to do this anymore. I was pretty shaken up when I left, and kept thinking about it over and over and deciding that my career was over and I was never going to put myself in that position before.
So, I have some questions for others of you about this. Does that happen to you when you're in a situation? Do you get thoughts that you can't do this, when you know you've been doing it for years? What do you do when you can't just stop or leave the situation? My biggest fear now is that it's going to happen again next Tuesday when I'm back in front of an audience, or Wednesday, or Friday. What can I do?
When I called for help with our medical office, I was given an appointment with a psychologist August 15. That put me over the edge since I need help now, made me mad enough to demand to see someone sooner, and, most fortunately, find this site. I look forward to reading and hearing from others. Thank you.
