You don't mention how much of a struggle you had to acquire these things or how much your parents, relatives, wife or friends helped. 

Many people who come from poor parents who worked hard build a core belief that they have no right to a good life instead of enjoying it. It is especially strong if things come easy to you. I know this one personally.

Another core belief is built when those close to you have been consistently a day late and a dollar short. This one subconsciously leaves you afraid to enjoy anything in case you lose it.

There are other possibilities I'm sure but most of them follow this sort of line. Achievement anxiety. The worst case scenario is where people won't try anything because of the fear it won't work or they will lose it.

Enjoy your life, that is what it is for.

Seratonan is called the happy hormone. too much or to little can effect mood. If you can't pull yourself out of this feeling with CBT alone then you may need an SSRI.

Here for you.

Davit.

Thanks Debi,

 

It's strange how this all works.  My life is great.....beautiful, loving wife, good job, good health, new house...........but somehow I've got so much anxiety.  I often wonder if I have a chemical imbalance and I need drugs to stay balanced......It is very frustrating.

Hi A,

 

welcome to the group, i agree with Davit i think my anxiety and panic started when i had less to worry about, i have had stress and worries my whole life and always coped really well but when i think about it the better thinks got for me and the less i had to worry the more anxiety i had its very strange.

at least we all have each other here and Davit always has fantastic advice, as do the others in the group, we learn here everyday

 

Your friend Debi

Really great post Davit..thanks..I needed to read something like that today.

Juanita

Thanks Davit,

 

I'm printing this one!!  Thanks for the help.

This is not my saying but I'll pass it on because it is true. "The past is in the past, you can't change it, only learn from it." It doesn't count. "Who knows what the future may bring, we can only do our best" It doesn't count. "Only the present matters, if you mess it up tomorrow it will be the past". Don't forget the past, just don't let it matter, you can't change it. Start all over today and make the future the best you can because it is going to be your new past. A proving ground.

Leave all that guilt behind to fade, cover it with a new beginning. Start my forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes, and much as you like to think they are your mistakes they are only partially. We are all influenced by people and surroundings. It is easy to get caught up in something and feel bad about it afterwards. Keep saying it, "I can't change the past, I can make it a better future."

If you need to say "sorry" do it even if you are the only one you need to say it too. Forgiveness is not just a word it is a healing tool.

I've been down the "road ahead", it is only bad to start with. It will smooth out and the journey get more enjoyable. And when you hit a rough patch remember that tomorrow it is in the past.

It does get more enjoyable, accomplishment is good for the mind.

Here for you,

Davit

Thanks Davit, your truly inspiring.

 

Some of my anxiety comes from guilt...things I did in the past...ie: smoking and not being faithful....it eats me inside, i'm afraid of the road ahead, when you've let someone down how do remove that anxiety?

Don't mind me but I found your comment about being strapped to a bed funny. I think a lot of people see us as that way. I often wished I could just pass out during the worst of the attacks. Any thing for release. The hardest was not being able to stop them and not knowing why it happened. In stead of thinking I was dying (that only happened after the first few) I wanted to do it and get it over with. Anything to take the pain away. First step was accepting that no matter how bad it was it would be over. Second was learning coping skills. Third was accepting that some times I had to take valium when I couldn't stop it with the coping skills. (always as a last resort). And not beating myself up for giving in. I had two years of journaling so I could see I was getting better at it slowly. Colour coded. Red for panic, green for when I managed to survive it on my own, and blue for the valium if I had to take it. The attacks started getting farther apart but more important I was getting more green than blue. Blue got down to once a month but stayed there. Fourth came, why is this happening. learning about core beliefs, and how to deal with them. It's one thing to know the negative from the positive. (perception) and wanting to change them (attitude) but the hardest is believing you can do this. (belief) Really believing, not just paying lip service. It is hard if you have a core belief that says you can't do it. Core beliefs are in your memory, you can not change them. What you can change is the way you look at them. (perception) You don't have to believe them. You can bury them with positive core beliefs. Then came the exposure. This is necessary to reinforce your positive core beliefs and coping skills. Some times there were set backs from this but it is all part of the process. Just drag yourself up again and start over and always believe you can do it and you will. It is hard to say when it starts to get better, just one day you realize the anxiety isn't there. And so you go look for it and poof, there it is. Okay here we go again, start over. And again one day you realize all this knowledge and these skills are paying off because for a while it was gone again. What a beautiful feeling. The road is long but the end is a beautiful place. Well worth all the work. And believe me it was "the hardest simple thing" I ever did. And here I am free from all those years of pain and incapacity. Do they ever come back? Yes but they have no power and fade almost instantly. I'm still recovering I still have to keep an eye open for the negative.

Here for you,

Davit

DianeS,

 

Thanks....your post does make alot of sense, I wish you all the best and hopefully we can help each other out.

 

Cheers,

Davit,

 

Yes i've been having those worst case scenario worries, ie: will i be able to handle having kids, working, will I have a heart attack, I'm I dying from cancer.....the list goes on.  I look at what I just wrote and think of how ridiculous it sounds, however I think it so my head thinks its right!! Crazy!!!

 

Unfortunately, I did not taper of Paxil as my doctor said to stop, I was on 12.5mg per day, which was a low dose.  Its been over a month now and the zaps I feel are wearing off.....i'm afraid the panic attacks started again because of me getting off the drugs.

 

I am happy to hear you are free of panic attacks, meds and therapy...that is fantastic and congratulations........I hope I will be in your shoes soon.  As for paying for therapy......my therapist is not a medical doctor and therefore not covered under the Ontario health insurance plan.  This stresses me out too, cause if I need a years worth of therapy at $200 a week, that's $10,400 a year!!........The benefit is I got an appt. within a few days......trying to get one from a medical doctor would probably take months and by then your either cured or strapped to a bed.  I hope I can get away with a couple of months of therapy.....she told me that generally 9 to 12 weeks is the average...hopefully i'm below the average.

 

Thanks again Davit