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Anxiety after the fact

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Juanita

You know you are not going to take it and you know if you do it will disgust you for giving in so leave it there. It doesn't matter you will soon forget it is even around, But if you throw it out you are going to go nuts worrying about what you will do with out it. I know I have some here some where but I would have to look for it, but since I don't need it I don't let it bother me.

This is no time to do another forced exposure. Keep the ativan handy just don't use it. Take my word for it this is the right thing to do.

Here for you.

Davit.

Ps. You did good telling the panic to go away, and just think you still had tools to spare, You could have had a cup of scalded milk to calm you or you could have journal'd, or some other relaxation thing.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi Maggie,

2 weeks ago I saw my doctor, and she asked if I wanted her to take my BP..she was fine with it either way, since I have worn the machine for a full day and my average was normal..we talked a bit about my fluctuating BP..she said that's ok, not to worry, as long as it doesnt stay at 160/100 all the time. Our BP fluctuates all day.

Oh, she did take it..it was 140/100. OK..It didnt stress me...I took it that night at home and it was 100/65. Like Davit, I'm just too exciteable, and obsessed over my fear of high BP..

As for your cycle, it used to be the opposite for me(prior to the SSRI)..during the week before my period I had headaches, and went through "the crazies"... I know it was related to the increase in estrogen, affecting the already out of whack seratonin levels in my brain...(so says the dr) perhaps yours is related to your hormones too, maybe they drop too low after your period? something to discuss with your doctor for sure.

At mydoctors appt we talked about how I am coping with life, and I let it slip that I had my little stashes of ativan spread around...some in my purse, some in my cupboard, my nightstand, and my dresser.

Now, I've only ever taken ativan once, a couple of months ago when I had that migraine/visual disurbance episode.

but for me, since hubby's gone I want to have it handy god forbid anything happens. She told me to take away one of my stashes , then another after 2 weeks, so I'll be down to only one spot..I said I'd take away the rest except the ones in my purse...its like its my security, and I havent taken any away, nor have I taken any.

During the night last night I woke up after a bit of a disturbing dream..the old all too familiar feeling came at me...I sat up, and said "oh, no no you don't" I thought it worked, but ....I laid back down, and boy those dragons were persistant, soIsaid"ok, what ever...bring it on panic..I've had it before, always survived, and if need be I have ativan in my drawer"...I even said all this out loud..My poor dog probably thought "Whats up with her..talking to herself!"..ha

Then...gone..fine...back to sleep....so anyone got any advise as to why I shouldn't leave the ativan close to me..at least while hubby's gone?

Juanita

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Maggie.

You know these are all related. They are all a sort of what if. It is a "what if I was wrong" what if.

What if I only thought I did the exposure. What if I can't do it next time. What if I read the machine wrong. And the biggy that covers all of them. "what if I am lying to myself" This one goes right along with what if I'm not being told the truth.

So lets throw in a positive what if. "what if you are wrong". What if every thing is all right. What if you did do the exposure and can do it again. What if your blood pressure is perfectly fine.

Scary hey! It is not supposed to be this easy! It can't be this easy!

But it is. It is just that after so much time with it not working you just can't accept that it is.

It doesn't surprise me at all. There will probably be thoughts like this with every success.

I still get them. But I know what they are and where they come from so they are easier to deal with.

You know if you walk up a set of stairs your blood pressure will shoot up to compensate for the need to get more oxygen to the muscles and clear out toxins, Perfectly normal. But even resting it will go up if you are doing excess thinking. Brain runs on oxygen too. Lots of things effect blood pressure. Age, weight, activity and the worst one for me is worry.

And then there is all the information saying it has to be kept ridiculously low.

My BP went through the ceiling before my operation and I made it worse thinking about it. It was still 168/90 going into the operation and 189/110 coming out of it. Really far to high and I needed extra medication to get it down to the high normal. But I know that when all is okay it runs pretty close to normal for my age on the small amount of medication I am on.

Also tests say I'm okay, just excitable. I haven't checked it yet today, I will some time but probably not till I am more relaxed. I expect it to be up because of all the toxins from the operation and there still is some pain, all factors to take into consideration.

I will leave it up to the ladies to comment on the effects of the menstrual cycle. As for head aches, I had bad ones for ten or more days before the operation and never found out if they were from high blood pressure or if they were causing it.

I noticed you are an account manager. Not exactly a stress free job is it.

Here for you,

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 63

I have a question. As you all know I went to Disney the weekend of Jan 21st which was a big thing for me. I had to prepare myself mentally for weeks for this trip. Now this past couple of days I have been getting headaches and been a little anxious again. Has anyone ever had anxiety after they accomplish something big in their life?

For the women I just finished my menstrual cycle on Thursday so sometimes after my period I do get headaches and a little anxious which at the same time might be hormones. But me of course start to think about the ONE thing that as you all know I have phobia about my blood pressure.

I want you to know when I did my physical in Jan everything came back PERFECT! Thank God. My blood pressure at the Dr office was a little high to be expected since it always happens there. I REFUSE to fall into that cycle again of grabbing that blood pressure machine and start obsessing about this again.

I will follow my Dr as he advised me to just check it once a month and keep a log. Why do I obsess about this so much? My headache could be from anything I explained above but I work myself up to think it's caused by my biggest fear THE MACHINE~~~ LOL

Maggie

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