Hi M,
Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Sounds like you've already started!
After I faced my disorders, and after I cried my eyes out for not feeling normal,and thinking I wasn't normal,
I took the bull by th horns and started doing what I needed. Escape time was over. I sounded just like you in the beginning when I joined the group. Jumbled, afraid to write anything for fear of being judged or just not knowing how to express myself. I started doing the lessons and everyday, atleast two or even three times, I came to the forum, if there was nothing current, I read back to any date. I'm amazed at how I've changed. And you will too. It will all come together for you.
One day I woke up and I was in peri-menopause and my life totally changed. Outbursts, not knowing how I was supposed to be, and if I knew it passed this fast I would have enjoyed myself alittle. But all thru my life there was always the undertone of fear. I didn't realize I was agoraphobic, OCD, and all the other initials, PTSD, panic attacks, you name it I have it, oh, depression. I manipulated my way thru life always in pain. So, I had to re-invent myself, and I'm having some fun doing it.
I know I am sad all the time no matter what is going on. And hopefully that will change.
Anyway, I'm telling you this, so you know you are not alone. We all have our stuff, and we all work together to get thru it.
Please, keep posting, stay with us, you'll love it. It sounds like you already do.
Andie