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Supporting each other - Today

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6

Good evening. I do appreciate all the supportive posts and thank you. Today was a little better than the last two days but I had to fight every minute to make it that way. Still having a little pain and tingling in my leg. Still convinved its something bad and will probably end up at urgent care or doc's office before long because it is consuming 90% of my waking thoughts. This is only going to get worse as I will be flying to Vegas in just over a month. I have a HUGE fear of flying. Have only flown once in the last 10 years and it was a day trip only 45 minutes in the air each way. This will be 3 1/2 hours on the plane each way. I think I have lost mind! But the reasons the thoughts of a blod clot in my leg will get worse is, of course, because flying could bring them on. I know this is the thing I need to get under control but it is the hardest. I should just think, "what's the worst thing tha could happen" but the answer is always I could die. I am 34 with 2 young children and that is one of my biggest (and most selfish) fears. I have taken a xanax so that has calmed me down a bit. Really thinking about going to a therapist, at least as often as I can afford it. I have got to do something, including trying to find a way to get back on daily meds. I hate to do that but it is becoming clear I don't have a choice. I can't let my family suffer. Right now its not interfering with my work for fear they will think I am crazy, but soon it will. I seriosuly just want to cry from the stress. I am going to read and try to lose myself in a book. If anybody knows of any phone support for when I am in a panic please let me know.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Good morning everybody and Welcome to all our new members.

Davit, It's good to hear that you got out to your greenhouse yesterday. I love hearing about your property is sounds so beautiful. All the trees in bloom and the geese on the pond honking. I am glad to hear that you will be hiring someone to help you get everything ready for your planting this. It will definitely be money well spent. You're worth it and you need your garden. Clearing out the all the weeds and brush would be way to hard right now and could set you back with your recovery. Maybe you can post some before and after pictures as you progress with your garden.

Your friend,

Red

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Good morning: Oh, so that's what green manuring is...makes sense. I forgot about seeds, yes, mice sure would like those. I used to feed the birds in the winter, two bird feeders, but had mice coming into the house in the fall. Someone told me it was the seeds which fall to the ground that attracted them.. One year I decided not to put the feeders out and sure enough, no mice.

I bet it is pretty when all the trees are in bloom. wow, I can just picture it. I used to do pickles, canning and jams and jellies, but not anymore except for the apple jelly. I had currant bushes, red and black, some raspberries. Gardening is so rewarding on so many levels.

No one knows what tomorrow brings so who knows, this may be a great summer for you. Take good care and all the rest you need for now. That's what I'm doing. saying a prayer for you

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

sunny.

I haven't had much luck the past few years with pole beans but I do like purple bush beans and they freeze well. Mice in a green house don't eat the plants but they dig up the seeds and eat them. Green manure is planting a slow to seed plant that gives lots of material that you turn under as a soil amendment and fertilizer. Because the material is green it breaks down fast. Buck wheat is the usual crop. I have a crab apple tree that is 15 years old and now big enough I can sit in the junction of the main branches with the canopy of leaves for shade. It is a rescue Crab with the larger apples and produces 6 or 7, five gallon Can / 6 gallon US pails of apples. Enough for wine(very good) and jelly. I have an ornamental also, and 1 juice apple tree, 2 pie apple trees and an eating apple tree. I also have three sour cherry trees. So you can see I have to find some one every fall to pick as I can't any more. I can't get myself to cut them down because I like to look at the flowers and the birds love them. Besides they shade the lawn chairs. Voles ate some of my bulbs. And there is quack grass in one of the beds quite bad. I wish I could keep home support so I could work on my garden more, but as soon as they find I can garden I will get cut off, So we are filling my freezers with meals for when they are gone. Strawberries need to be thinned and Raspberries thinned or moved. I also have two gooseberry bushes and an elderberry bush. It makes excellent jelly if you use apple pectin. (from peels and cores from the pie apples). Far too much work for me but I just do my best. Down scaling as best as I can. Fewer carrots and potatoes and more greens.

I dread the day that I can no longer garden. It will be a sad day indeed.

Davit

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

D: Glad to hear your leg is doing o.k. but sorry about the tiredness. It takes time. I'm going to write to you what you write to others - you know I'll be here to listen and support you. Anytime you have a rough patch to go through, pls. post. I don't have depression so I'm lucky that way. I have had some sad times but usually come out quickly enough. I am taking it easy so don't worry about me - but I never did get to start the toad houses. lol. I'm thinking maybe after this wknd. when and if I feel up to it, no rush, just when I feel like it and stop as soon as I tire. Do mice do that much damage in a greenhouse? Do they eat plants, bulbs? or is it just mulch and ? What is green manuring? Sorry for all the questions...just curious. I've downsized my veggie garden, mostly stuff for salads, but do like the purple pole beans. I have one crabapple tree and make jelly in the fall. Have lots of perennial flowers tho. but did a good job last fall splitting them to smaller size so not too much work this spring.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 112

Just want to wish everyone a Happy Easter and nice to see everyone is well.

My day was good too! I saw my doctor yesterday and he increased my amitriptyline to 50mg and ativan for 1 week only to

try and break this anxiety cycle. I see him again next Thursday.

Today I've been much more like my old self and went shopping with my son, thank goodness I have him. He tends to a big clown and keeps patting me on the head when we are out

( he is 6'2 and I am 5'6 ) so I guess many people stare and wonder what kind of nuts we are!!!

I'll have my mother in law and brother in law over for Easter Sunday dinner....I am hesitant a bit about it ( I'm still

ashamed that I got hooked my hip pills, even though it not my fault...I know) but at least I will be in my own home and can

get help from my husband and son. I can hide forever, I suppose.

In any event, Happy Easter to all.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Every one.

First off I hope you all have a happy Easter. Today was cold, windy and overcast, but I filled some pots with soil so that they can warm up. I did not have the soil in the greenhouse so it is too cold to plant in. The other thing is that I am sure there is one or more mice hiding among all the pots and flats or even in the compost bin that I have in there. It is time to start plants but a couple of days won't matter too much. I have lost most of the last two summers to being sick. I am determined to do something with this one even if I have to resort to taking some very heavy pain killers to do it. The leg is better and I am watching for signs that I may be overdoing it a bit. I am just so tired and weak. I intend to hire some one to do the heavy work and thankfully the Garden can't be planted for a month and a half, by which time I should have the Staph licked and be on the way to recovery. It would help if I was ten years younger. I intend to grow less but do a better job of it. More flowers. Downscaling about half or more if need be and looking for some one to use the half that I don't. Or I may green manure it. Sunny I want to tell you to take it easy but since I won't follow my own advice I have no right to give it. The hardest part I think will be dealing with the depression again so I'm staying on the tricyclic antidepressant for now. It does not do the things the SSRI did so I don't mind it. There may be panicky days but I know how to handle them so let them come. They can't hurt me.

Davit.

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Red: You sound in good spirits today, good for you. You are lucky you can plant so soon, I still have to wait a couple of months. Not ready anyway, but we are having wonderful weather.

Davit: I hope your greenhouse visit cheered you up some and didn't hurt your leg. Sometimes just smelling the soil and feeling the sun on your face is the best medicine. I had a visitor later in the afternoon and it tuckered me right out - head buzzing and ears ringing. So I know I'm not ready yet to do socializing. Take care.

Happy Easter to everyone!

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 420

Davit and Sunny

Its good to hear that you are both getting outside today. I was out and about yesterday with a dental cleaning and then went out to breakfast. I did a little shopping at the craft store also. So today I am staying in and doing a little reading. Maybe I will work on getting my ground ready for my tomatoes next week. I'll have to see how it goes. I do want to try to get out again in the next few days. Have a lovely day everybody. Talk to you all later.

Red

16 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Sunny.

Cozar is hyzar without the hydroclorothiaside (diuretic) in it. Going to hobble out to the greenhouse and do a little, very little likely but I must get out.

Davit.

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