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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

No new laptop! So as you can see i can barely get to the computer to vent or journal!

The weather has been so good that i am outside with the kids cleaning, playing , walking... I refuse to let this take over me..i haven't been able to do the program as i cant get on here with my wife working, kids homework etc!

I know about the exposure therapy and am working bit by bit but more importantly day by day...i cant let this consume me, i will miss so much of life...

will be back soon as i can spend the required time.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Update!

WE REGRESSED, MOVED FORWARD AND REGRESSED AGAIN...not sure where I am now?? We are clearing the weekends and using sports as fun activities and breaks. The wife has gotten the kids involved and we are working together to clean this up. We freed up last weekend and the weekend before an i did some exposure by going to the basement stairs and kind of making a plan of what i wanted to do, then i would come up stairs and right it all down. I did this a couple of times and i had some many ideas that i wasn't afraid to keep going further into the basement throughout the week.

We took a break and did finances to see what we could afford to do and then i exposured again with this. It is really helpful and it takes my mind off of the actual panic.

More to come...

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Ok,

So Christmas has set me back, just a little. I was able to clean out the area...but soon i have to put everything back and go back downstairs. i have been using the exposure stuff to be able to slowly but surely get downstairs and just take it in.

My new job is a great source for release for me I can be as organized as i want to be and i got a new area that i can make my own and have full control over it.

The exposure program is helping I just have to be able to continue to move forward with it. I need more time on the computer...crossing the fingers that the wife gets me a lap top!!

Happy holidays all!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Good news!

Wife says weekends off! She says that if we little by little every nite then we will chip away at everything..but week-ends off..She wants to be able to spend time with the family..how did i get so lucky!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Ok,

Slowly but surely we are emptying out the house..with all the sports activities going on..the garage sale didn't pan out...I have regressed and am not going downstairs..because I fully panicked last week about it. My wife is keeping out of the house as much as possible and giving small tasks to do...she is such a help and support for me...One day at a time..i know..i know!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Thank you Josie.

The wife came up with a good idea, a garage sale and we all get to keep what we make. We planned a date in a month and a half..and my wife planned one day each week to purge and that means all of us..it feels better to know there is and end goal and that we are all working our way up to it...i guess this is the exposure everyone is talking about!

Thanks,

Whitey

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Whitey,

Your on the right track of thinking. There are other important issues to think about. Do you do activities with your kids? If not, make some! You can set aside week-ends to dive into a room and get it done. Make it a plan, instead of a ongoing process. Get the whole family involved!

Do look forward to coming home and spending time with the family

Do get the family involved for everyday tidying and cleaning

Do take some time for yourself and enjoy the relaxation

Do plan a clean out day for those rooms, one day at a time, on the calender!

Nothing happens if the dishes or laundry aren't done for the day...the bike ride you took with your kids will stay in their memories forever!

Josie, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Update,

Can't shake the panic about the house, but i have to concentrate on my new job and how to make sure i make a good impression..i am usually very proud of the way i work , but i cannot shake the new feeling of not wanting to come home??

it increase my panic and yes i know why cause i know what lies in wait for me ..i have to shut my brain off to this..there are so many more important issues to worry about!

???

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

Progress is slow..as a matter of fact is halted!

I was on such a good path and now that the summer is over and my new job starts I am afraid that i will not have the time to get everything done and my panic will once again increase...i can somewhat deal with rooms needing to be taken care of..but every week i get that feeling that rises in me and i cant get rid of it..i actually just go to bed so that it calms down..the kids think it so hilarious that i go to bed before them....

Really trying to stay calm.....

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 30

lovine,

Thanks for your support it really means a lot that someone is listening!

The nausea has subsided! My honey was home and really helped me..we took the first week to go through each room and make comments on what need to be done...we talked at length on what was feasible and what would not get done now or maybe never!

Talking about it really helped and last week we did purge some rooms and it lessened the panic somewhat! The kids rooms are done and part of the basement...I had two panic attacks when we went shopping for a new shelf because I found all my wife's old photo albums..the panic attacks surfaced when we went to every single store in the city to search for a little shelf...my body couldn't handle it and upon the 8th store I had had enough and started panicking!

took me home and thought I was sick.. it took a nap and a couple of hours to explain I cant do this with her! she can make the decision and told her how I was feeling..it really help to talk and have someone to listen too.

Half the house is done and I will tackle something else with help..I think i can take on the smaller rooms..i actually brought in the recycling and looked at my e-mails in my office...that was step one, I waited a day and then cleaned a drawer....I cant do it all at once either as i come across other problems..you know what to do with the room once you have cleaned it..do you paint, re-arrange etc etc...later down the road maybe...

I am sorry I know this isn't major for most..but like i said before I lived in lots of clutter and to see it makes me nauseated and i am trying to control it..

thanks for your support

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