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De-Stressing. Everywhere!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Very interesting and thought-provoking opinions and ideas! Equally interesting is how some of you recognize that the deeper questions about our existence are somehow related to the anxiety and panic. Great thread! Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 43

Hi darkblue,

Sorry I didn't answer sooner - I just saw your response! Thanks again for the ideas. I do think I need to set aside "me time," very specific me time like 10:00 to 12:00 on such and such a day, or else I don't really take it. I've written it into my schedule a few times and I think it works best for me that way. :)

I used to envy people's faith too, before I had it, so I know how it feels, and I truly hope you wind up having faith, too. Knowing that God is in control comforts me enormously. On my own I am an extraordinarily weak person, and with Him I can do all things. It's night and day.

And also, I just thought I'd mention after reading your/jhori's great discussion: religion is not the same as faith; someone can force "religion" on a person, insofar as he can force him to follow certain rules or statutes or observe certain customs (and I'm sorry that seems to have been done to both of you), but no one can force faith on a person or even give faith to a person (except God). I think most people use the word 'religion' to mean 'set of beliefs,' but for some reason they don't seem the same to me, and the word 'religion' has kind of a negative connotation in my mind. Jesus condemned the most 'religious' people of his time, the Pharisees, because they behaved in all the right ways and did all the right outward things, but their hearts were hypocritical - they didn't have belief and they didn't have love.

Sorry, didn't mean to write that much! Take care!!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

The higher mindstate only comes when you realize there is nothing that you need. Easier said then done, but that's what I thought about anxiety too.

Aha, funnily enough, my agoraphobia began once I realized things weren't going as planned. I figured, the way I was before with how I was living, partying, etc. etc. I wouldn't live beyond 24. That's come and gone...things didn't go the way I planned, so I had to find another route. Once I lost my path, that's when agoraphobia crept in. Though anxiety had been there for years, still didn't stop me from doing what I did. But then again, this is just me...and I'd be a fool if I believed everyone is like me.

Though I was very similar with religion as you, feeling it all was forced on me...that's one of the reasons I didn't join the military, (although it was a two sided battle because it was my dream to join the special forces). Was. Also one reason why I went on a hiatus from my beliefs, to find what I felt was right.

Anyhow, I came to the conclusion that I could never really understand the existential nature of a being so much higher, it just leads to a wordplay war. But the concept, the beliefs, all that is involved in the type of person they are, really is right up my alley of who I am, and who I strive to be. Why not follow a path that leads you in a positive direction. The negative may be more colorful, artsy and thought provoking...but why provoke thoughts that are so unnecessary? Aha, 7 years ago I would give 4 knuckles and a thumb to what I'm saying.

This sounds like I don't believe in God, and only the trends and pathways that His followers take...but He's the only conclusive path I can see. Everything else is just as existential as an argument.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

I would settle for that higher mindstate right now, Jhori....

Soren Kierkegaard, arguably the father of existentialism, mused that panic and anxiety began when realise that the concept of our mortal presence on Earth is a false conception of self...

Basically, when we realise that death means the end - panic is 'awoken'.

I don't believe fully in existentialism. But it's all interesting.

I used to be quite bitter and disheartened about religion. I attended a Christian school, where we were forced to recite prayers and attend church.

As a result, I rebelled and questioned my religion deeply. I came to the conclusion that it was forced upon me, and had I been born in the middle east - perhaps I would be forced to accept another religion. At such a young age, this thought spurred me on.

I remember having a conversation with a good friend at the time, and we agreed on one thing only:

Humans speculating about the existence or non existence of a higher power is the equivelent of dung beetles speculating about quantam physics.

In as much as if there is a higher power, we don't have a high enough conscious level to understand it.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 466

Good stuff, Dark. I understand the working with stress situation better then I would like, but even more so I understand failure to acknowledge my emotions. Typically, I would grin and bear it, work through the flames, so-to-speak. It's the way I was raised after all. I was very good at it, but as with all things, it got to me eventually. Guess there were a couple lessons my dad neglected to tell me, as he's still in great shape emotionally, always has been...I'll have to catch up with him on those things.

I like that debriefing idea, I'm going to have to steal that from you!

Aha, you envy faith? I don't mean to sound rude, but it doesn't give as much comfort as you think. Look at Mother Theresa's diary, she was a strong believer, but "faithless" when she died. That's the funny thing about faith that not many understand...it's not something you feel, it's something you believe. It's something to guide you in the dark, but it doesn't truly protect you from "sticks and stones". It gives you a higher mind state, only because it makes you think "in spite of". In spite of pain, in spite of emotions, in spite of anything you have faith He will guide you through. Religion really is a funny thing.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Hi Faith.

"I can do everything through [him/Christ] who gives me strength"

I envy your faith. I think faith would give me enormous comfort. I hope you use it, and do find stregnth in it.

I used to teach, too. And you are absolutely right. Only I taught disadvantaged and disabled children (mainly blind), and so there were even more challenges (but more reward). If I wasn't working, I was preparing. If I wasn't preparing, I was buying things that they needed.

But the to-do list could really help you. Don't let all the thoughts enter your head at once and worry about having not prepared enough. If you write out a to-do list everyday, you can work towards it, and know what you need to do. This could help relieve the burden from you of constantly thinking what's needed.

Set specific times for you to do work-related activities, and make sure you have plenty of 'you' time set aside especially for 'you'. That is important.

Take care,

DB

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 43

Those are some lovely ideas, darkblue!! I like the idea of your home being the sanctuary and the place of peace. Also, good for you for coming to be able to accept things out of your control, like the timing of the bus! That's a much healthier way to think about it than worrying and stressing over what MIGHT happen if the bus is late or whatnot. You are very inspiring!

I sometimes wish I had a job that I could forget about when I left, but because I teach, I have lesson preparation to do, handouts to prepare in between lessons, stickers and prizes to go out and buy, etc. But I think I might still try your idea of debriefing in a journal after every day - that sounds very helpful!

Thanks so much for posting all that! :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

darkblue,

Wow, thank you for such inspirational words!

I'm confident that other members will appreciate these as well.

Truly remarkable!

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 150

Everyone gets stressed. We know that. People who are in perfect health, physically, mentally and emotionally - they all get stressed.

Here's a little anecdote:

I was in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy about 4 years ago for depression. One of my CBT therapists was a highly academically achieved woman. She had more diplomas and 'bits of papers' than I can care to remember. She was highly respected in her field.

At the time, I really didn't want to be in therapy. And to be honest, I didn't want to lose my depression. I saw it as my creativity and, to some extent, my inspiration to write.

My therapist did not like this. After months of therapy, we were going no where. Every thing I said was simply being answered with a question, and we were both frustrated.

In the end, I requested to withdraw from therapy and to see my medical records. I made a legal request to have certain 'facts' withdrawn from my medical file due to inaccuracy. My therapist and I debated the various points she had made in my file.

Nearing the end of the session, she switched off the tape recorder which she used at every session. She became visably angry with me. She told me, in the frankest of terms, that I was beyond help. She swore at me, cursed my attitude and then stormed out.

I actually found it refreshing. I was glad she opened up. I felt as though I were talking to a textbook most of the time, and was happy to see her acting as a human.

But the point is - She snapped. The pressure or stress got to her and she reacted like every human HAS to react.

Failure to acknowledge our emotions does not make it go away. It makes it come out in other forms. Like panic attacks.

Dealing with stress is actually relatively straight forward. You just have to be proactive about it. Recognise it when it's there. Look out for the signs and symptoms. The tense shoulders, the fatigue after a long hard day, etc. Write about it, walk and think it over, come to conclusions about the events that stressed you, and deal with them.

I've always been highly driven on stress. I never recognised it as stress until I suffered from panic attacks. I knew that I was under pressure, but I thought that by rising to the bait, I was dealing with the stress. I can now see that actually, I was making it worse.

I would self-appoint myself thankless tasks at work. Overworking myself to prove that I was a good employee.
I didn't have to.

My bosses knew I was good at my job. What they thought when I was taking on all these extra roles is simply beyond me. Maybe they thought I didn't have a life at home!

But it's not just about work. It's everything in life. Standing in a line at a supermarket, waiting for the bus in the morning, looking at the pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen. All these things used to get me wound up and stressed.

I can't understand why I did it now. I was just so used to taking on everything and to hell with the consequences.

Nowadays, when I'm waiting for the bus, even when I'm running late, I'll tell myself that it doesn't matter what I think or if I get stressed about being late - the bus will come when it comes. My thoughts won't make that bus come faster.

At work and at home, I'll write to-do lists. And I'll work through them. I'll find out what's achievable and I'll work towards it.
If I don't get it all done - there's always another day.

I also make good, quality time for myself. Reading a book. Listening alone to music. Taking walks for no reason other than the air is fresh and it's good to be alive.

I've started a journal which I write in every day when I come back from work. It's like a 'debriefing'. I'll write everything that happened and then I can put work out of my mind.

When I leave my work, I'm no longer an employee. Long gone are the days I used to bring work home with me. This is my sanctuary. My place of peace in a fast-paced world. I wipe the traces of that mad world on my mat outside my front door, and I enter my own world. I get to choose the pace, the background music, my thoughts and my mood.

These things are easy to implement if you believe in the lifestyle. You have to be able to recognise your feelings and be utterly willing to change.

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De-Stressing. Everywhere!