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Hi RoRo,
I am new to this site so I am not sure how we can add a buddy for instant messaging. It would be great to talk more as it sounds like we are in the same boat! We could also exchange emails? I finally stayed home alone the other day for 1.5 hours! My husband was about a 10 minute drive away. The beginning was scary and I felt a little "floaty" and surreal but once I made the half way point I felt much better. Very little anxiety knowing I was half way done with being home alone. I really wish though that I was the type of person who could easily stay home alone. Even when I was fully functioning in graduate school I still did not like when my husband would go out of town (although I could manage it). Wouldn't it be great to just not care? not worry about being home alone? I also have some panic about going places in my town alone but I am slowly getting more comfortable with that. Do you also have trouble going out to stores, etc. without your husband? Of course, this is all new as of December. Before that I would drive all over the city alone! Hope you are doing well.
Maybe obvious, but I lock the doors, close the curtains at night & got a clip to carry my phone on me at all times. I reassure myself that my husband has his cell phone & I can call him if I need to. It does also help me that the police/fire/rescue station is only 100yds away from my house. (Although when the sirens go off, I have to mentally remind myself its not for me & then say a quick prayer for whoever its for).
I also try to find distractions to keep my mind as busy & productive as possible. Talking with a friend, checking emails or systematically going down a checklist of things for me to do, helps too. My husband & I talk the night before & I have a planner where I write down when I can expect him to be gone that day, so there's no suprises, and I can plan my day of when I'll be tackling the "to do" list to pass the time.
Hi Noelle. Not sure how to talk to you personally. I was reading your discussion and feel like we have a lot in common in terms of what we are going through. I am like you... a very confident, independent woman who has crashed flat on my bumm.... It sucks but am really trying to see why and the purpose and meaing in this. I am a teacher and off on sick leave. (Yuck!!!) I would love to check in with you to discuss stratagies, obstacles etc.... It feels so lonely in this panicky world. (Although, I do feel suppported by my family and friends)
Thanks so much!
Ri
Ro
Yes- I do feel like a freak explaning it to people. I have had
"babysitters" come over to hang out so my husband can go out, so the humilation is definetly there. I am trying so hard to take small steps to help me get better. I am proud of myself but still feel frustrated.
It sounds like you are on the right track! Sending calming thoughts your way.
Hi roro,
Yes, that helps. I have also realized that with exposure I can start with very small steps like having my husband walk around the neighborhood at first, then maybe run up to the bank or just be gone for 20 minutes to start. I finally tried staying home alone for 1 hour last week and saved a special magazine to read for while he was gone (distraction!). I hadn't thought of having a "crazy"/safe room to go into. I will have to try that. Do you ever have trouble explaining this fear of being home alone or without your husband to people? I feel like it is such a strange thing to explain to other people!
I am in the exact situation as you. I am a teacher and have been on sick leave and my husband works from home. What we did is we bought some walkie talkies and started slowly. First, he went to a neighbours for a few minutes and now he can even go to the grocery store. I try and save my favourite things to do for when he is gone for example, talk to my best friend or read a silly magazine. I have a room which I envision as my crazy room that I can go in if I start to go crazy which does not have any stuff in it that I could hurt myself. It seems to work and is getting easier. I have an ipod with relaxation music ready and one of my self help books close by. I hope that helps.
Ri
Noelle,
Welcome to the Panic Center!
Yes, relapses happen and they can be overcome. Don't know where to start? Our program is a good place. It will teach you about panic disorder and your panic cycle. It will also get you to do exposure work in a slow step wise fashion. Our program is located in your session diary.
If you have any questions, just ask. We are always here to help.
Keep close.
Danielle
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