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Social Anxiety Disorder

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Hi Weagle,

Ugh, I know what you mean by replying everything. It can feel awful. That replying is hallmark social anxiety. The truth is that nobody is perfect in social situations and most people don't mind the imperfections. Who wants to be friends with someone who is socially perfect anyways?

The truth is you are likely viewing yourself way more critically then others are. Keep working on challenging that. You might want to check out paniccenter.net for some more tips on controlling social anxiety. It can be extremely tough but with practice you can stop the wallowing. Until then, we are always here to listen and help you work through a perspective.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety. I feel like I can talk to people and be more fun when I'm drinking and I feel less anxiety. But the next day I replay everything I said or did in my mind over and over and over and I want to disappear and I just wallow in self loathing.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

It is funny because I often think of myself as a confident person. It has only been in the last year or two that I realized my drinking and social patterns are so connected, and that they are a result of my needing something to ease the situation. I have begun to notice how much little interactions with other people can be stressful to me. I often refer to having friends, or needing to socialize as something I need to "deal with." I get really nervous and put off making even the smallest phone calls.

Whenever I am in a business meeting, social gathering, or situation of any kind where there is alcohol, my alcohol use ramps up in a big way. I honestly, can control the alcohol use (most of the time) when I am by myself. I rarely keep alcohol at my house. I often go days at a time, without wanting to drink, or noticing I am not drinking.

Then as soon as I am in a social situation, it is like I want to to drink very very much. I am the first one to suggest drinking, I often drink the most, and I drink fast. These are all signs that other people and social mixing triggers this behavior in me. I also have a reputation as being someone who likes to drink, so this reinforces the entire thing. Because people know i like drinking, so they make sure to have alcohol when I come over. I am used to this identity and I play right into expectations.

I have never learned how to break this social drinking display I put on. As I mentioned above, when I am alone, I feel in control. I don't like drinking that much in front of other people. I don't like that reputation as a drinker. I don't like feeling that I have exaggerated my stories, and repeated myself too much when I think about it the next day.

In short, I feel like a fool on two legs sometimes. I feel that I don't show people who I really am. I am actually not this drinker, loud, person when I am alone. It is something I put on, and no one likes it, not even me.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 38

Thank you Ashley you are encouraging and a great support. Tomorrow is my moving day. I am realy looking forward to a new start. me101.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

I think many people can relate to everything you wrote. Negative thinking can drastically change a life. I am so glad you were able to take control of it. It is not easy when our brains have a set in pattern and a predisposition to anxiety. It takes a lot of courage so I hope you give yourself a ton of credit.

If you were able to get a handle on anxiety I am sure you will be able to get a handle on drinking. Like with managing anxiety it will take maintenance but also like anxiety, it will get easier and easier. I think you have a lot to look forward to.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 38

A doctor told me to read a book called the anxiety and phobia work book 4th or 5th edition by bourne. That book realy describes me to a tee. After 3 years I still have not finished reading it. What I have learned is that what I tell myself is realy a bunch of lies. I have learned to analyse my thoughts and to question them, and everytime I do what I was thinking was not realy rational. Deep breathing exercises, and long walks help. Also staying in the now helps. People with anxiety tend to be fortune tellers. Alot of the times I would not do something because in ten years from now it might not work out. HELLO! I might not even be there in one year let alone 10 years from now, and I am worried that I might be uncomfortable in 10 years from now. I tend to be single alot because before I even ask a girl out I have had a thousand arguments with her. We split up made up split up etc, and I am just looking at here. Then I say to myself why bother it won`t work out. Thats what I mean by questioning my thoughts. Today I control my anxiety much better. It also helps to be aware that I am an anxtious person. All in all things are better with that. Now if I can just fix my drinking problem. lol.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us me101. Congratulations on all your successes so far. How have you learned to deal with you anxiety, what works for you?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 38

I have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder. Dealing with social anxiety when I was young was hard. I remember dropping a pencil in front of girls, and I would turn red, and run out of the room, because I was embaressed. Through out my youth it was a problem until I discovered alcohol, and drugs. I guess I felt people were more interested in my drinking than me, and it took the pressure of, and I could enjoy myself. In some ways alcohol did help me to deal with social occassions. Obviously today. I am so open that I get into physical fights in bars, verbal fights etc. I can go on, and on how it all back fired on me later on in life. Sometimes I wonder how life would of been for me if I would of never of touched the stuff. Today I am happy. I have a new life starting. New job, new apartment, new car, a new beginning, and I am planning to take full advantage of it. With all this I am a little affraid of all of this. I know it is only anxiety, and I have learned to deal with it. This is where alcohol again comes in to save the day, but I know better now. I think maybe we should start a new corner. I think in some way everybody who drinks uses alcohol to help ease social anxiety. Even people who do not drink will Say I need a drink for this. Great Idea Ashley.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11215

Social anxiety disorder is a strong fear of being judged or humiliated in social situations. This fear interferes with day-to-day life and must be present for longer than six months. Sometimes the fear characteristic of social anxiety disorder is so intense that individuals avoid certain social situations in order to avoid the accompanying anxiety

Did you know social anxiety is the most common anxiety disorder? One study showed it effects 8.1% of Canadians in their life time and another showed it effected 13.3% of Americans in their lifetime. Social anxiety is known as the "disorder of lost opportunities". Due to the fear and avoidance that characterizes social anxiety disorder; individuals miss out on optimal educational attainment, employment opportunities and social support. Some people with Social Anxiety Disorder turn to alcohol as a way to cope in social situations. Individuals with social anxiety disorder are more likely to develop a substance disorder because of this.

Do you feel social anxiety may have contributed to your alcohol use? If so, what has been your experience?

If we have a lot of members posting we can start some themed threads on this topic.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

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Social Anxiety Disorder