I wish I knew how to be supportive to you all in this thread.  I agree with so many of the statements and sentiments being said.  I  am beginning to notice (after 10 days with no alcohol)  relationship issues, coping issues and even functioning issues that I have been hiding from using alcohol.  Man it hurts and is scary!  I have an extremely supportive husband and yet I find it hard to talk with him about this process.  I guess that adds an intimacy issue to the list.  So yes, my thinking about alcohol is changing but so is everything else.  Hang in there.  I believe we can do this :)

Ashley, Health Educator

if you were able to change the way you felt without the use of alcohol how would your life be different?

 

Hi Athena and m,
 
Love where this conversation is going.  M, you are so right and saying it is real!  Thank you both your honesty and openness.
 
I have a few thoughts I wanted to add.  Hopefully it will add to the conversation and I will try not to make it too chirpy but as I am a Health Educator I don't promise anything.
 
First thing I want to say is you are both right.  Recovery is hard and it is emotional; like m said it is real.  These real emotions of sadness, anger, frustration, loneliness, etc. are often labeled as negative emotions.  However, these emotions are part of being human and are even essential.  It is often said without the experience of these "negative" emotions we would not fully appreciate the "positive" ones.  I know it can be hard to look at in this way but when feeling awful consider it is a very real expression of being human and it part of the richness of this world. Yes, it can be incredibly hard and having social support and expressing these emotions authentically can be therapeutic. Using Alcohol to cope with these emotions as we all know is counter productive.  There is come information in the maintenance section of the program that does offer some tips on how to cope in alternative ways.
 
 
All this being said, I am not going to minimize the fact that dealing with emotions can be incredibly hard and if other issues are involved (depression, anxiety disorder, etc.) it can even me impossible to address without help.  If you ever feel like you cannot deal with emotions or your feelings it is a idea good to seek help.  There are ways to cope without alcohol.  Alcoholism often occurs beside other mental disorders or illness as a maladaptive coping mechanism.  For this reason if you feel you cannot cope with emotions without alcohol I encourage you to challenge this negative core belief as it will make it very difficult to address any problem you may have with alcohol until this belief is challenged.  There is information on this in our sister sites the Panic Center (www.paniccenter.net) and the Depression Center (www.depressioncenter.net) these programs are based on cognitive behaviour therapy principles.  These programs do help you to actually change your thinking and therefore change how you feel about certain situations.  
 
 Maybe this will change the direction of the discussion but if you were able to change the way you felt without the use of alcohol how would your life be different?
Ashley, Health Educator

When I am overwhelmed by pain or fear or anxiety or sadness I cannot control my intense need to turn down the volume with alcohol.

Quote of the Day:
You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.