Hi Zoyathedestroya,
Welcome to the site. You're here and you are posting about all your failures, but you are here. It does sound like you want to end your addiction to this nasty habit, but you just don't know how to do it. The best advice I can give you is to start off by going through the "my program" at the top of the page. There is some good information in there that can help you on your quit journey. Then you need to read through these forums. READ, READ, READ. There is a ton of great information in here on preparing you for the obstacles that lay ahead on your path to freedom. The more you know about what to expect, and how to deal with it, the better your chances are of beating this addiction. You have tried a number of times in the past, and it sounds like you know what some of the triggers are for failing. This is good because if you know what some of the dangers are, you should be able to come up with a plan for fighting the impulses head on when they happen. Each time you fail, for whatever the reason, you learn a trigger and you should be able to fight and beat that same trigger the next time it happens.
You're saying that depression is a trigger for you, now you need to learn a way to deal with the depression, OTHER THAN having a cigarette. The same for being sad, it's a trigger for you so you need to find a way to deal with it, again without a cigarette. Alcohol....BIG trigger when you are trying to quit smoking. Avoid it if you can, for as long as you can. So many quits have failed because once alcohol is in your system, you let your guard down and then the NicoDemon gets his way. Most of the answers you are looking for are buried here on this site in these forums. You can also learn from other peoples mistakes and failures.
On your past attempts, did you do it cold turkey or did you use nicotine replacement therapy? You can beat this addiction so don't give up trying. Stay strong and keep us posted on your progress.
Not One Puff Ever
