Hello everyone,
I'm Ali Riza from Turkey. For yet another time, I've quit. The difference is I do believe that I'll succeed this time.
I've tried quitting many times before. There are more than 15 attempts of me, where I could stay smoke-free for more than one day. I think I understood why I failed. I always think of my attempts as a 'try'. I always said that, I'm just trying, if it won't work, I would just smoke again. I did not believe I could quit, so I couldn't. Now, I have a strong belief telling me this is my final quit and I'll quit for good.
I know it won't be easy. There will be times of trouble. But you can't achieve something without overcoming certain obstacles.
I'll need your help. I'll need any kind of help. I's my 8th day and it was a very difficult week for me. I seeked self-help by reading about smoking cessation and by using nicotine patch. But I always arrive at a point where self-help is not enough. I need support of others and I need new ideas that will help me.
I was a heavy smoker. I smoked more than 2 packs per day. There were days I smoked about 4 packs (80 cigarettes) in a single day. I also smoked cigars and pipe. I've smoked for 12 years. I have an addiction and a habit that is hard to break.
In 8 smoke-free days I have seen that I can live, work, or have fun without smoking. But there are certain times when addiction 'talks' to me. It forces me to relapse by fooling me with thoughts like:
"One will not hurt"
"Maybe I'm kind of a person who smokes"
"I've failed many times and will fail again"
"I'm too depressed, the negative aspects of smoking are less important than my huge problem"
There are times I want to smoke because of a certain reason. There are also times I want to smoke without a specific reason, I just want it. Such thoughts appeared several times in these 8 days. I came over but I got tired. The only thing I didn't try is asking support of others. Most people around me don't care about my attempt to stop smoking. They think that I'll fail again, because I failed many times. Even my closest friend, when I told him I quit, he told I could not do without smoking. I understand him, he has seen how madly I smoked, he knows about my serious personal problems, he does not know anything amout facts of smoking and stopping smoking, etc. But I don't want to believe him.
People around me were used to call me "walking chimney". There was always a cigarette in my hand, if not a pipe or cigar. I know it is hard, but this must change.
I have made a list of benefits of not smoking. I know horrible consequences of smoking.
I know the benefits, I hate the consequences of smoking, I read a lot about stopping smoking, I have the largest patch applied, but there are times I go crazy, mad, nervous, sad, etc. I find it hard to concentrate on my job. I know these WILL end. But I still need support: support of others. There are only a few persons around me who actually support me. I need more support.
But I do believe I can quit, this is the thing which makes this attempt different than others. Sometimes, doubts do appear. But when I receive a suport from a person other than myself, doubts disappear.
