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Still don?t feel like I?m getting the support I need...


12 years ago 0 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hey Samantha
 
 
Thank you for your kind words.  Yes its been an interesting few days here.  People have been taken out of their normal routines and that always shakes things up a bit.  The main problems here at the moment are the residual flooding that has occurred.  But all in all we are very fortunate. 
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic
  • Quit Meter

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12 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi nonic,
 
I really enjoyed reading this post. It was well written, clever and really inspiring. Thank you for sharing this with us today. 
 
It is good to hear that the damage from the storm was lighter than perhaps expected and that everyone seems to be alright at this point even the little robin. I hope that everyone will be able to recover from the damages as soon as possible and I wish you well.
 
Keep the quit. 


 

Samantha, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello All:
 
It has been a rather long night here.  Irene has just passed through and most of the folks around me have been up most of the night.  In this area, damage has been rather light.  The bridge across the nearby river is out and water is making its way across what used to be the road.  My neighbor next door now has a whole in his roof and a tree upon the house.  We have been busy clearing limbs around it and taking pictures for the insurance company.  But no one was hurt and the damage will be cleared in good order. So I suppose we are all rather fortunate here. 
 
Oh yes, I did find a young robin wandering around...He apparently was dislodged from his nest during the storm.  He looks a bit confused, but he appears to be of an age that will allow him to survive until he learns to fly.  I believe that they normally spend 4 or 5 days on the ground in any case before that happens.  I did notice that one of the parents was sitting on the roof watching.  I believe he will be alright.
 
That robin did put in the mind of thinking about what is going on here at the support group though...Like my little friend here, we are all seeking change.  The young robin must change, because he has been thrust into the activity by forces beyond his comprehension.  He must learn to fly or die.  And we too seek change. 
 
Now we have not been thrust upon the ground by nature's fury, but we have been propelled here by our own inner forces.  And those forces can pack an equally mighty punch.  When we seek cessation, we are seeking change.  And that can be very difficult.  Humans don't seem to like change.  We can desire things, yes.  We often look out upon the world and imagine ourselves doing something different.  Becoming this or that or the other thing.  And there is nothing wrong with that.  In fact it is an essential part of the human experience.  But where we get in trouble is that we want to do it, but we also desire to stay within our comfort zones while achieving our aspirations. 
 
I remember reading Alan Carr's book early on in my own quit.  At one point he relates the story of a man, who while struggling with addiction said (paraphrase here)..."I could quit if I could just smoke while I am doing it"...The absurdity of that statement is apparent to any casual observer.  But the sad truth about it is that the statement made perfect sense to the man.  To me this is a prime example of how deeply rooted our shared addiction is.
 
I believe that the way to cessation comes from within. "Often the reason that we find change so difficult is because we want to change something, that we have never given enough disciplined and focused attention to, to understand why we have thought and behaved as we do".  We must, if we are to succeed, declare to ourselves that we want to make ourselves better.  We desire freedom over servitude.  We recognize that to continue to smoke is to remain within our comfort zone.  
 
My wee robin friend would, if he could, concur.  Because one day soon, he will lift his wings at just the right angle, turn into the wind and soar as high as he likes.  He will become what ever robins are destined to become. 
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic         
 
 
  • Quit Meter

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12 years ago 0 880 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Kristen:
We understand what you are saying.  And yes, the involvement of others around us in process of cessation is important.  Now I am only speaking from my own experience and every quit is different. However, I believe that there are enough common threads among us to create a conversation about cessation that can be meaningful.
 
We all smoked for a reason.  For some it was to "overcome" anxiety.  For others it was to bring us better focus.  My personal belief is that people use nicotine as a kind of anti-depressant.  Take a moment if you will and study the mechanism that nicotine uses to influence our physical and emotional states.  In short, nicotine mimics one of our neurotransmitters that in turn is the gate-keeper for other neurotransmitters that function to grant us states of well being. 
 
When we smoke we are seeking to "make ourselves feel better".  But as with all addictions,over time, we need more and more nicotine in order to repeat the desired feeling that we got from smoking in the first place...This is why, as with any addictive substance, "the first one is free"...To continue we must pay a heavy price to keep riding the nicotine train. And that price is not only of a monetary nature.  We pay by slowly surrendering our most precious resource, our health. 
 
I applaud you for seeking cessation.  You are taking a bold stand.  However, sometimes the people around us do not understand the nature of our affliction.  It is not as if we have a broken arm or leg.  No our wounds are not visible to the eye.  This fact would naturally bring the casual observer to the conclusion that all we have to do is put down our cigarettes and walk away.  But anyone who has struggled with this addiction will tell you that walking away is not an option.
 
You must seek understanding from those around you.  But if it is not forth coming, you must not allow this to dissuade you from your quest.  Your quit must be about you.  You are seeking to create a better you, and that is a very personal and sometimes lonely thing to do. 
 
The good news is that here you will find many kind souls who will listen and understand. If not for this site, I would not have gotten this far down the road.  
 
 
stay well
 
 
nonic     
 
  • Quit Meter

    $66,570.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 1373 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 51 Seconds: 4

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    6340

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    190,200

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

12 years ago 0 55 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I tried to quit at least 6 or 7 times before I was successful. 
 
What I learned in my final attempt is that it is not about others, it's only about me.  I had a terrible time quitting, my daughters thought I was possessed during my quit, and quite frankly I thought I was too    But we made it through.
 
 Explaining to others that you 'won't be right for several days or weeks' helps a lot.  Asking for patience from our loved ones is a start but we can't expect them to understand if they haven't been there and done that themselves.  You have to want the quit and not expect acceptance from your loved ones.  It's really hard, but it can be done.  I spent a lot of time in the bathtub with a washcloth over my face to help hide my tears during the first few weeks of my quit, it helped me maybe it'll help you.... just understanding that our quits are our own and not our significant others or our children's is one of the first steps of making our quits happen is a huge step!
 
Best of luck to you and your quit!
 
Leslie 
 
Nine years, six months, one week, two days, 5 hours, 16 minutes and 4 seconds. 139088 cigarettes not smoked, saving $20,863.07. Life saved: 1 year, 16 weeks, 6 days, 22 hours, 40 minutes.
12 years ago 0 147 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
This will be the 4th and Final time I've tried quitting smoking. I'm using the Nicotine gum. To get through the cravings i use the gum also the breathing exercises. 
 
Ways i want my boyfriend to support me more, I guess is to just think before he speaks. Not be so quick to yell when he's upset. It's not easy for me either. 
12 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristen,
 
First of all, Congratulations for choosing a healthier lifestyle that will benefit you physically, mentally and emotionally!  It's certainly not easy to quit smoking and is even more difficult without the support you need from friends and family. 
Know that we are here for you to help you through the ups and downs and help you overcome withdrawals and cravings.  Stay strong in your resolve to be smoke-free. 
 
Is this the first time you have tried quitting?  What strategies do you have in place to control any cravings?

In what ways do you want your boyfriend to support you?
 

Vincenza, Health Educator
12 years ago 0 147 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I tried asking him for more support last night and he said he would. But today it seems like all i was doing was talking to a brick wall.
12 years ago 0 792 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Kristen, I know how you feel about others not understanding what you are going through. Can you approach your boyfriend and explain that you will need some extra TLC for awhile. Just until your body and mind stabilize after cleansing all those toxins from your body. Maybe promise him a romantic dinner in say 2 weeks ?
 
 Whatever you do don't give up Kristen. You are young and if you succeed now statistically, you will be as if you never smoked at all. Don't give that chance away Kristen.
12 years ago 0 147 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My boyfriend seems to want to argue with me every single day. I don't know what to do about that or how to make it stop.

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