The girl I loved... Once upon a time, we met in a tavern. She was a friend of my another friend. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever known. My other friend introduced this girl to me. I will never forget the first dance we had. After several months, we were thinking of marriage and soon we had married. Everything was beautiful at first... But then she began to change. I had a job but she hadn't. In spite of this fact, she was taking way too much money from me. I loved her so much that, I opened up my wallet and give her lots of money, it was an action that had never been ended. Today, she embraced me and when her hands were around me, I've turned my head back. I FINALLY saw the sharp knife she was holding in her hand. "Go away and never come back!" I shouted. I've kicked her out of my house. She didn't have a certain name, but various people were calling her with names such as cigarette, cigar, nicotine, tar, or poison. Yes, I did steal from her soul, and she stole from my health and my wallet. It had to end.
And just a few minutes ago, I threw the last pack of cigarettes out of window, from 8th floor. I didn't even watch how it falled down, instead I just abruptly closed the window even before hearing the sound it hit the floor. Yes, the pack might still be in one piece on the street, but for me, it isscattered into billions of pieces.
By the way, let me introduce myself. I'm Aliriza from Turkey, I'm 30 years old, and I'm a FORMER smoker who made a pledge to change his entire life by stopping smoking. I had smoked for more than ten years and this year, I have seen days I've smoked 4 packs a day, that's 80 pieces of junk. I was continuously thinking of smoking, I have read a lot about it on this site and I gained information from various sources. And another thing: Don't misunderstand me as I drew the imaginary picture of cigarette as female. If I were female, I would imagine it a handsome man. I just want to express how cigarettes attracted me, there is no intention of discrimination.
Today is the day: The day a 'big bang' occured in my head. I was already motivated, thanks to this site and the program I could create with it. Yes, this site and other sources fueled my desire to quit, but I still needed a spark to make fuel start burning. The spark was a video I watched from the internet. No, it was not a kind of video with smokers' lung pictures, pictures of a person with mouth cancer, or a video where a doctor talks hours and hours. It was a video of a short play on a theatre somehow manifested both tragic and comic aspects. I would really love to share it here, but unfortunately the play is in Turkish. It was telling the story of a person who began smoking, and how horrible things his smoking habit resulted in, and how he finally quit for good. It was certainly written to post a message to the subconscious mind of audience while consciously amusing him or her.
Yes, this is my 8th attempt to stop smoking! Yes, my friends used to call me as 'walking chimney'. From now on, 'walking chimney' is partially correct for me: Yes, I'm walking (maybe just to get rid of stress) but NO, I'm no longer a chimney.
I had a pack of nicotine patch which I bought about several days ago since I was seriously thinking of quitting and the patch would be helpful if I would decide to quit. I've applied the patch, but this may not be enough. I will still need help. A lot of help, as I'm extremely addicted to the drug. One of the tests on this site tells me %99 of people who completed the test are less addicted than me (I'm talking about the test on this site, a part of the quitting program). I usually smoked 60 pieces of junk everyday, every night. Yes, I smoked on nights too. It's usual for me to wake up at 03:00 AM and smoke, and then sleep again. This happens more than once per night. As you see, I'm seriously addicted, need more help than a patch, and I hope to find it here.
I can't use Zyban or Wellbutrin because bupropion interacts with the antidepressant I use. Yes, I have depression too, it WAS a very severe kind; many medications my doc prescribed wouldn't work. Finally we have found the right one, however it is DEADLY to use it with other types of antidepressants. My doc also advises me not to take champix/chantix as it's interaction with the med I use not yet studied. And I don't take the risk to use champix as the medication I use is a strong and dangerous one which interacts seriously even with aged cheese!
And yes, I just wrote this to say 'hello' in a short way ;)
