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Half of What I Say is Meaningless

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Bump!

Thanks once again, Nonic, for all of musings posted here! This thread had a great influence on me during my first year of cessation and it should have been bumped forward more often!!! I hope some of our new members will find this post as meaningful as I have!

Jim

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$48,997.50

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Days: 1191 Hours: 3

Minutes: 8 Seconds: 1

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6533

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195,990

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17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Windy:

You are right there...I always found it odd that life (or at least the way I experience it) dosen't always make sense unless I look at it in reverse. Perhaps it would make more sense if we could be born old and move through time in the opposite direction. Reminds me of that old song that went "I was older then, I'm younger than that now"...This living as a temporal being is interesting, though. We make decisions today based on available information, hoping that our cognitive processes are up to the challenge of creating a desired outcome. However, we don't really know if our actions are correct in terms of our desire. It is only when we climb to the top of the mountain and look back that we can be assured that our steps where well calculated.

Perhaps one day we will find that time is really an artificial concept. However as I age I am well aware of its effects and I do know for sure that cessation was the proper path for me. Of that there is no doubt...

Stay Well

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 717
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 21,510
Amount Saved: $7,528.50
Life Gained:
Days: 133 Hrs: 14 Mins: 30 Seconds: 41

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$73,174.50

Amount Saved
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Days: 1602 Hours: 5

Minutes: 15 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
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6969

Smoke Free Days
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209,070

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

There is no reason why I could not keep a journal but at this stage, the journal would be for different reasons. I remember how hard it was but I dont remember when it started getting less hard. I remember that I used to think about smoking every day but I dont remember when I stopped. I remember that there were moments when I felt so lucky that I didnt smoke and the feeling of freedom finally set in but I dont remember when that happened.

I really dont have the desire to keep a journal now...but if I would have know what a trip was ahead of me during the past couple years, I probably would have chosen to write it down so that I wouldnt forget.

In the mean time, its great to have the chance to check in and see old friends and see how everyone is doing.

Windy

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 9/11/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 821
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 20,525
Amount Saved: $5,747.00
Life Gained:
Days: 79 Hrs: 23 Mins: 14 Seconds: 17

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Windy

I did in fact keep a journal. I always enjoy writing, and having a whole book to fill up with my ramblings was very therapeutic. The simple act of writing provided a wonderful distraction, particularly when going through the worst of the process...Stay well I am so glad that you have come through this with a renewed spirit.

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 716
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 21,480
Amount Saved: $7,518.00
Life Gained:
Days: 133 Hrs: 12 Mins: 53 Seconds: 53

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$73,174.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1602 Hours: 5

Minutes: 15 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
Quit Meter

6969

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

209,070

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Sarah:

Thank you for your kind words. I really do think that acceptance and appreciation are the building blocks of one's path toward cessation.

Best

nonic

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$73,174.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1602 Hours: 5

Minutes: 15 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
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6969

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

209,070

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

nonic,

Thank you for your inspirational words on acceptance and appreciation. What an incredible analogy on deep breathing!

Windy,

You mentioned that you wish you kept a journal. Is there something that has stopped you from doing so?

Members, what has your experience been with keeping a journal? How has it affected your quit?

Sarah, Health Educator

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0

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17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

Hi Nonic

So good to hear from you too. You are right...it is all about balance - the difference between taking responsibility for our choices and blaming ourselves for our mistakes. We cant change what has happened.

I am thankful for my new life and new health and all the people that supported me to get here. By finally doing something which seemed to be impossible, I have found the door to new possibilities. It is so much easier to jump in, take chances and take on new challenges.

Do you ever wish that you had kept a journal. I never did...but I wish I did because all of the changes happened so gradually. Nothing got easy quickly...it all took time. The other day, I was trying to remember how long I had quit smoking for...was it two years or was it three years yet...I realized that when I could no longer instantly remember that smoking no longer controlled my thoughts.

Obviously, I havent forgotten or I wouldnt still be here checking on those people who were there with me or before me and seeing all the new people that are starting their new life.

Windy

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 9/11/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 820
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 20,500
Amount Saved: $5,740.00
Life Gained:
Days: 79 Hrs: 20 Mins: 52 Seconds: 17

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2631

Nonic

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend, but glad for him that he had a friend like you to be there with him.

Certainly, any of us who have experienced addiction whether that be cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, food, or other have struggled with demons at one time or another.

Personally, it makes me feel very angry when people blame another for their addiction. I did not want to be an addict and, although I did pick up that first cigarette, I did it at a time when I had no idea what it would lead to. I dont think that anyone would choose to be an addict.

I am thankful that I was able to deal with my addiction before it killed me but I also realize how lucky I am and I remember how hard it was. I hope that I will continue to make good decisions down the line but hope that I will not spend my time blaming myself for the unwise ones that I made along the way.

Windy

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 9/11/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 816
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 20,400
Amount Saved: $5,712.00
Life Gained:
Days: 79 Hrs: 11 Mins: 32 Seconds: 48

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 880

Jim

In full agreement there. I found the process of quitting to be a very introspective journey. And why not? After all who in their right mind (or left mind for that matter) is going to voluntarily pay a king's ransom for a pack of cigarettes, put the rolled up weed in their mouth, lite it and suck down toxic fumes? Who, being in all other ways reasonable and prudent, will voluntarily risk their health and well being for the pleasure of riding the nicotine merry-go-round? The answer of course is nobody. But that is just the point, the addiction is not about the act of smoking at all. It is about the hidden forces within us that drive us to do as I describe above. I believe that all addiction is borne of inner longings, misunderstood desires, unresolved transgressions and many other bits and pieces that come to form the being we know (or don't really know) as ourselves.

I imagine taken to the nth degree one could spend eons contemplating the I am that is me. But it is not necessary to pick apart one's psyche as a child would disassemble a clock to the point of non-existence. It is only necessary to get a feel for the why of the addiction, and once discovered begin to recognize how to divert the flood of desire that sends us running for a cigarette every time the emotional clock signals that the hour has arrived.

I feel for all of us who have fallen into this trap, because it is so easy to do and so hard to realize how and why we got there. Having said all of that, the good news is that it is possible to reach a state of cessation. But I could not do it by simply saying "I will not smoke". Perhaps some folks are able to do it in that manner, I don't know. All I know is that I had to find the reasons for my insane behavior and then train myself not to respond in the same way. Hey, I could have been one of Pavlov's dogs, maybe I was in another life...

Stay well out there

nonic

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 12/25/2006
Smoke-Free Days: 710
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 21,300
Amount Saved: $7,455.00
Life Gained:
Days: 132 Hrs: 9 Mins: 41 Seconds: 34

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$73,174.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1602 Hours: 5

Minutes: 15 Seconds: 15

Life Gained
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6969

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

209,070

Cigarettes Not Smoked

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 145

I MOST HUMBLY THANK YOU !!!
TRUELY,

Pupikat

My Milage:

My Quit Date: 7/30/2008
Smoke-Free Days: 127
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,556
Amount Saved: $933.45
Life Gained:
Days: 14 Hrs: 23 Mins: 13 Seconds: 1

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Half of What I Say is Meaningless