Hi Rebecca,
I was in the exact situation as you about a month ago. I was dead set against meds and had read up on all the most scary side effects online possible. I in general have a fear of meds (even advil)....I put meds off for MONTHS! One night I had a major attack in the car with my boyfriend and he drove me to the hospital, I walked in and 5 minutes later walked out shaking and crying... but more fed up and angry at this than anything else.
At that point my doctor said "why are you doing this to yourself" and I finally said what the heck, the side effects can't possibly be anyworse that how totally ****py I was already feeling every day. I started Paxil CR 12.5mg for a week and it didn't really do much except make me nauseaus and more anxious, then I went back to the doctor and tried the 10mg of reg paxil. I have been on that for about 3 weeks now and feel much better than before, have mild side effects like it makes me tired for about 3 hours after I take it...so I take it at night. Also headaches but I had them before and slight nausea which seems to be going away...they say it takes a month to be fully working in your system. I think I will be going up to 20mg's though because my Phsyc doc thinks its better to be on a full dose than on a lower waivering dose that is borderline helping me and borderline not...because I still have some anxiety.
After all you have been through I dont think it could get any worse. I know how you feel, but ask yourself why these drugs are made? obviously there are so many people out there who needed help that they had to come up with something, they were created for problems like ours. I plan to be on this untill I feel like I dont' need them anymore, hoping it wont be more than a year but am not putting any pressure on myself. It may take a while to figure out which drug works for you or you may hit if off with the first brand. I always say to myself the only thing we have to be afraid of is fear itself, without the fear there is no panic :)
