I am not sure if I have panick disorder but this is how I am feeling right now.
I am 19 years old and I sometimes, right before I leave for college, feel pretty panicky at night. I do not like to be alone at home and I am afraid of embarrassing myself in public such as blushing or vomiting. This has been happening for about a year now, but I have been well for a good part of the year. Most of the year it's just the agoraphobia and the fear of blushing, which is also pretty bad, but not as bad as the obsessive thoughts that possess me at night and don't let me sleep. Sometimes these thoughts hit me during the day while at my house. For some reason it's usually at home that I get these thoughts. I am afraid of harming myself and/or others. These thoughts are horrible and don't let me sleep. I usually only sleep until I have vomited and my heart is still racing while I am going to sleep. This has made me become increasingly depressed, and now I also have to fight a horrible, deep sadness that has me thinking that the worst will happen to me. I think that I'm gonna end up in a hospital, and my life is gonna be a failure. I am also afraid of living this way, without any hope. Please help me. I really need help.
