Thanks for responding Poe. I have an appointment on wed. with a psychologist. I have had panic disorder since I was 12, and it invents itself differently each time it occurs in me. The first round with it, I was obsessed with death and dying. So badly that I did not want to even sleep by myself at night, or shower by myself. I was 12, and had my mom with me as much as I could. I wouldn't sleep without the tv on, and at that time I was terrified also that ghosts would appear. I believe that I have a problem with obsessive thoughts. I am sorry to hear that your trip was not very pleasent. If this makes you feel better, about two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I went on a four day getaway to a very foresty region, where there isn't much else. I pretty much felt realization, and panic the whole time. I just kept thinking, man if something happens to me, there are no hospitals close. Now, I will be leaving for San Francisco in about 3 weeks, for a week and a half with my boyfriend and his family, and I am TERRIFIED. I don't want his family to know about my problems, and I am scared to death to be gone for that long. About medication. Dont give up hope if that's not the right solution for you. Medication can be great to make you stronger so that you can battle panic disorder the way that you should, but many people just take medication, and the minute they get off of it, the panic begins, and they don't know what else to do but take medication. I have tried medication before, but this time I am trying a different approach. I am reading lots of self help books, I made an appointment with a psychologist, and I am useing some relaxation techniques as well as coming on the computer quite a lot to research. I find it very comforting to talk to others who have the same experiences as me. It's easy to feel alone with a disorder like this. Hang in there Poe!
