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Spouses - How to make them non-insane


19 years ago 0 41 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Umm... be thoughtful of the benefits a husband takes from his wife's agoraphobia. He ALWAYS knows where you are. He ALWAYS knows who you're with. He has NO worries about you being unfaithful. He has a great deal of control-- especially when you are so cut off from family and friends. This may not be the case, but be careful of men who make you feel guilty for being ill. If you were laid up with a fractured pelvis, he would not expect you to go to the movies, or even vaguely suggest you were being manipulitive. We have wounded minds--they take time to heal. Right now you are starting to walk again, and he should rejoice--not become impatient that you can't skip rope! You are doing amazingly well. Be proud of yourself. I'm proud of you. I know how terrible a movie theatre can be. You've paid your money and now you feel trapped, but the trailers for the upcoming movies can be way scarieir than any film you'd choose to see. So many variables. Keep trying, but never forget that other people have their own agendas. I've found out the hard way that sometimes the people we think love us in fact cause us the most harm. Consciously or unconciously, people around us can reap benefits from our illness. you can email me at lauraseddon@sympatico.ca ttfn Lauralai
19 years ago 0 16 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi I understand what you are going through. Just try to sit your husband down and talk to him. My wife at first was very scared and I don' t think totally understood the magitude of my fear. My mom stayed with me for a month 1/2 because I was out of work. I have been out of work since May and I got back this Saturday. I am excited about that. With my mother here I was happy but you know how mother's are they want the best for their children and there was alot of tension between her and my wife. Anyways don't think so negative. Things will be alright. You sound like you are making leaps and bounds since you are going out and doing things. You can email me at cbruckman@comcast.net if you want to talk. Chad
19 years ago 0 799 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Kitten, You mention that in the last 2 weeks you have been able to do some things i.e. mini golf and eating at a restaurant. You should find strength in your successes - no matter how big or small you feel they are. As far as the mother in law situation - I can totally relate. I got through it by telling myself it was only going to be a temporary measure - even though at the time I had no idea how long it would last. Regarding how you are feeling about your husband I would advise you to seek some type of assistance. Do you have a good family doctor or a therapist that you can relate to? If not, once you are able to acquire one maybe they would offer the option of having your husband present so that he may gain a better understanding of your situation. Please remember that you are not alone on this site. Talk to your doctor and let him/her know how you are feeling. Please post often and let us know how you are doing. Hope to hear from you soon, Casey _____________________________ The Panic Center Support Team
19 years ago 0 34 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Can you email me at duncno1@hotmail.com i might be able to help.
19 years ago 0 13 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I was basically housebound for 6 months. A lot of horrible stuff happened, we lost our insurance and our income. We had to move in with my mother in law and I started getting samples from my doctor or zoloft and am taking Xanax as well, how much depends on the day. The last two weeks, I have gone bowling, mini golf and even eaten at a resturant(though a not very busy one) a couple of times. The problem is my husband is slowly losing patience with me. He feels like my fear of going to a movie or picking a certain time to try things is a power struggle, when all it really is, is a comfort factor. I've made it to the theatre a couple of times but haven't made it in yet. It's where I had probably the worst panic attack of my life and I'm terrified. Unfortunately I seem to be getting little support here. He is starting a new job on Monday and I will be stuck at home with his mother who does nothing but put me down (with a smile on her face). I feel like my marriage is falling apart and if I wasn't so afraid of whatever happens when you die, I would consider that option. When the person you love most in the world, can't even recognise that you have a serious illness what are you to do? I've asked him to do research, but he is either incredibly lazy or unwilling to even bother. The real problem is, except for this he is a really sweet guy and honestly probably deserves better then me. On a side note, I moved to the United States to be with him, I have no family or friends here and basically feel very alone and scared.

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