Dear Want To Be Free,
I hope you are getting some outside help for this and not trying to deal with all of it completely on your own.It is hard !!!
I also have had some weird thoughts that intrude into my life and it is very scarey. I find that if I divert my thoughts to something else it helps alot. For instance I will do a chore around the house or go for a walk. For me, talking about it to someone I really trust has a tremendous effect. For me it is kind of like a bad dream, when you talk about it(in detail) to someone it tends not to repeat itself.
Good luck !!! Peace, Nina
