You are going to be okay. It sucks right now and you have every reason in the world to hate it. I totally sympathize with you. I also have strange thoughts that penetrate my brain! Sometimes, though I know it seems like a long shot, I comfort myself by the thought that one day I will wake up and feel good.
I guess my point is, you are not alone. And you are a perfectly normal person in a very unfortunate situation. It will get better. :)
