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Caught in the crossroads

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Caught in the crossroads

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 61

Hi all, This is going to be a disappointing post but I at least try to be honest about things. I caved. I smoked today and I know it was a bad decision. When I came to this site back in early November I had been a pack a day smoker for 9 years. I quit for 2 months starting in November/ 2006 and when I started again I was smoking a pack a week instead of a pack a day. I realize that this is a failing defeat for starting again but in some way I felt that I had accomplished something. You see I have quit many times and every time I would quit I would go right back to smoking a pack a day. Because of this site I could not let myself go back to a pack a day because I felt that it would all be for nothing so from January until early March I have been smoking a pack a week. Then 4 days ago I decided to try again and went back to it today. I know this is bad but I feel that these failures are part of something bigger. For most smokers the act of quitting feels impossible and most smoke consistantly until it finally kills them. For me, although it is not the best move I feel that if I can accomplish a pack or less a week and do it consistantly I have achieved something. I know you will not agree but I had to say it. I will continue to try and quit; however, at this time my desire to smoke is greater than my desire to quit. I further realize that some of you would have harsh words to say and that is your perogitive; however, it will not change my mind nor my outlook as I have never been the type of person that pays any attention to the (kick in the a$$) approach. I welcome any words of encouragment and explaination of what's going on in my head. I feel that I am caught in the crossroads and sooner or later I will not have the option to decide (i.e. Cancer, etc). I have and will continue to attempt to quit this awful addiction and feel that my trying and failing is part of some unlearning process to break the pack a day tradition. I would also like to say thank you to each and every one of you. I wouldn't have even thought about it at all without your words of encouragement. Thank you. Joe,

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18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 357

Jojo It's called an addiction for a reason. If it were an easy habit to break I wouldn't be sitting here typing on my computer, drinking gallons of water and sucking on sugar free candy. This is my 5th attempt to quit and I think this website has a lot to offer, so please don't stray too far from it. Everyone's quit is different, for me I had to quit all at once, however, my husband has had success (and some failures mind you) weaning himself off slowly. We will continue to be here for you and I will add you to my prayer list. Hang in there, Dupe [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/11/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 28 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $3.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 59 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1040

It's an old time-worn adage, Joe... but that's because it's true. There's no sin in falling down. The sin is in staying down. You're obviously not content to stay down. You're going to beat this. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 171 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $55.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 249

All I can say is when you are ready to try again, we will be here. Just don't give up. You know you can do this, no matter what anyone else says. Once you remember that, you will do just fine. My love and thoughts are with you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/15/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 645 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $206.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 247

jojo, You just wasn't ready yet. Stick close we will be here wnen you are ready. You can want to quit but not really ready yet. You will be at some point that you just say enough is enough. Well when that day comes we will be waiting right here for you. Hugs from all. Jnine [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/14/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 57 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,157 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $156.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 11

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 598

It's okay, Jojo! Welcome back ! "Never quit quitting!" is my motto. :) A fifth time quitter, nmc [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 199 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,998 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $995 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 37 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1006

I feel terrible for you Jojo - your post sounds so low. Please don't beat yourself up about this. The fact that you've lost your quit is bad enough without having to make yourself feel worse about what other people will think. Use the knowledge of this slip to help you next time you decide to quit again. You need to change something about your quit, to secure it at the beginning. Have you considered all the options out there to help you? Take care of yourself, love! See you soon, Deli [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 223 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,357 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �669 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 852

Jojo, I just wanted to tell you to NEVER give up on yourself! There are many people here that have tried to quit many, many, many times. Practice makes perfect! This is my 1st quit, so I truely cannot relate to how you are feeling. I just wanted you to know that there are many people around here that do not care how many times you quit! We just care about helping you get back up and stay up! Support and friendship. As long as you continue to quit, you will someday triumph over your addiction! I have no doubt! Just keep trying my friend! You said it all: [color=Blue]"I will continue to try and quit; however, at this time my desire to smoke is greater than my desire to quit."[/color] Once your desire turns around, let us know. We will be waiting for you! 4my2girls [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 372 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,188 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1216.44 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 30 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 29

18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1306

I have been where you are, and not too long ago either. Banging you head against the wall, again, and again, and again, wondering.....why am I banging my head against the wall......BANG. Well, my head started to hurt and my heart. I knew then that quitting would be hard and painful at times, but this quitting, smoking, quitting, smoking thing was hurting way more than that. I turned my thinking around and said I CAN, and I WILL, and nothing is going to stop, especially me. Never quit quitting. You will find the key to open your door to freedom. I'll be here.....believing in you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/10/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 61 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,238 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $701.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 9

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18 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2462

Joe, I think all of us remember the times that we tried and tried and tried. I'm sure all of us are happy that you are here, still trying. Please let us know how we can help. Rusty :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 819 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 22,954 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2866.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 114 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 26 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

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Days: 731 Hours: 17

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Caught in the crossroads