The title of this post - the plaintive words "help" ...in a little small timid voice - this always hits me right in the gut. Remembering how it was to be in hell week. Remembering all of my fear about whether I had the strength to do this. Wondering if I would ever feel like me again. Wondering WHEN oh WHEN I would stop crying, sobbing, sleeping, feeling over-sensitive, and irritated about anything and everything. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did - and no, my husband did not get it at all, either. I really didn't get it either...until I realized that everything I was feeling was a sign of withdrawal from one of the worst addictions there was....that everything I was feeling was felt by everyone else who was quitting ....that everything I was feeling was a sign of healing and a sign that if I stayed with it, I too could be free.
This was nearly impossible to believe. I had to go on blind faith of those that went before me, promising that it would eventually get better and that it was worth it.
Figuring out what the assignment was, was easy. NOT ONE PUFF.
Accomplishing it, was the difficult part. And yet, once I accepted the level of my addiction, and realized that one puff would be a return to slavery, I made up my mind that no matter what, I was never going back there.
So, through conflict with my spouse, through buckets of tears, through gritted teeth, I hung on for dear life. And lo and behold, I am now one of those oldies telling you - "You can do this! This is possible! This is worth it! The freedom is delicious.!"
Best wishes.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/15/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 488
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 12,203
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1708
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 67 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36
-
Quit Meter
$808,920.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 5438
Hours: 3
Minutes: 15
Seconds: 9
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
46224
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
1,155,600
Cigarettes Not Smoked
