Seems weird to be back here - and day 2. Thank you to those who have written in this thread, it really does mean a lot to me. I am back at hospital Nov 6th, I really dont want to be smoking then. Have had so many cancellations (me and them) that I havent been to an appt at hospital since being refered in July. :o( Anyway - no way I could go there and be a smoker, esp not as they have told me that it is contributed by smoking. I am going to need this board, esp for these first few weeks. As I said we now have someone who smokes, and most of my stress is in work (I manage homeless hostels) - so I will come here and post instead of going out there and smoking. I am determined again. I do want to do it. I really dont understand - how come I really wanted to smoke on holiday? Esp as I was 3 months in. I have never ever quit for longer than 3 months - I was so determined I dont know how i lost it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/16/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 53 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �15 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 58

Ok,as a lot of you know, I went to Cyprus, and my 2 week trip was my reward for not smoking. Trip was bad. So i went back to smoking. Lesson learned, never use something that has the potential to go wrong - as a reward. It doesnt work. Since coming back I have tried and tried to quit. Before in my office everyone was non smokers - so when I quit, combined with coming here that made it much easier. Then a new person started, i came back from holiday and she is a full on smoker - all of a sudden a new world (or old one) was opened - to go out, have a cigarette break. I kept trying to quit but would only get a couple of hours in. Anyway, I smoked my last cigarette almost 24 hours ago - on my way home from work last night. I didnt buy anymore. Today my smoking colleague was off sick. So i am proud to say that i have not smoked. Now I have got through this first day - I think I can keep at it. Hence i can come and post on this board. It was my inspiration before. I am gutted to be back to square one. Gutted to be back to day one. BUT better to be back at day one - than to be still a smoker. I know i can do it, i know that this board helped me before - I was too ashamed to come back here as a smoker and post. So now i can post again, as I am a non smoker. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 127 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,186 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �952.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

Thank you all for your support. It really means a lot to me. I am at day 3 today, its 10.01am now but when i finish at 5pm then that will be my 72 hours, 3 days - nicotine has left my body. YAY Quit I think what happened this time, was that I smoked half a cigarette which unknown to me was at the bottom of my bag (probably chipped from when I had got on the plane the year before, as I hadnt used that particular bag not since the year previously - even the last years airline tickets were in the bag) How gross is that? Half a cigarette that had lain around in a handbag for over a year. Yet i smoked it, and I smoked it with a vengance. Only thing was, first thing next morning, I thought - ah I need to get some more. Well, I did go to the shop, bought them and sat with them in my hands with the wrapper on. I knew that i shouldnt go further - take them back to the shop sell them, whatever (I was in North Cyprus, and flying from South, they search you, so you cant even take back one packet of cigarettes from North to South).. anyway once i had smoked one, that was it really - i thought the same as you... Yep I am on holiday, freedom, there isnt anyone going to tell me what to do. To be honest it was an awful holiday i was staying at his parents, and they werent exactly welcoming - I felt pretty isolated. Then i got the cigarettes out... and I suddenly did not feel isolated anymore. Of course it was probably the nicodemon trick - and i fell for it hook line and sinker. I told myself stupid things, like ya know - as soon as we land back in England I wont smoke anymore.. yeah right! Each morning (because i would smoke everything that i had before work) on my way to work, i debated should i buy another packet... even when I didnt buy any, the new girl persuaded me to go out for a smoke with her. It was 7 weeks and 3 days before i finally quit again (just looked that up in my diary). So much for just smoking whilst on holiday.. Its so hard to quit - i smoked as much as i always had. I had no control over it at all. I dont know what makes us so different. But I guess it is like some people can be casual smokers (my boyfriend can) and others cant (i cant).. Some smoke 60 a day some smoke 5... If I smoke, I could smoke a couple of packets a day.. the

Niks, you did it once you can do it again this time it will be forever I have great faith in you, as marie always says one day at a time. Just remember N.O.P.E. Sullydog [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/2/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 138 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,800 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $690 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 30 [B]Seconds:[/B] 8

Glad to have you back, Niks. I always found vacations to be rather stressful as well. In any event, I admire your honesty and am glad you will be re-joining us! (((hugs))) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/8/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 39 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,979 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $312 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

[IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/Daniwiz/NOPE.gif[/IMG] Fondly, Free [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 159 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,783 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $636 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 56 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

Niks, We are so happy to have you back on our boards! Thanks for sharing your experience with us and congrats on 3 days! Stay strong! Danielle _____________________ The SSC Support Team

Hiya Niks! [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c157/bingo969/Smilies/wave.gif[/IMG] Welcome back, and congrats on having the guts to face off to this again. You know good and well that quitting isn't easy. You can't beat yourself up over this either. Embrace it. Welcome it. Understand it. Accept that this addiction is going to try and beat you down. There's no way around it. Quitting isn't easy. I know I didn't think I could. But I tell ya, I lived through it. Never ever ever thought I would have. I had long ago convinced myself of a dozen reasons it would be so much harder for me than for anyone else. Ya know what though? It wasn't really any harder for me than for anyone. It was my fear of the quit that convinced me of that. 'Cause if it was harder for me than that meant it was OK when I failed! Bottom line is, life is SOOOO much better for me now without them. Admit it, it was for you as well. The addiction obviously still made you crave them, but look outside that. It WAS better without them, wasn't it? I don't have to spend the money every day on them. I don't have to feel wierd when I go places where smoking isn't allowed (which - let's face it, is more and more common now). Plus, I'm just plain FREE!! You CAN do this. BELIEVE in yourself. Have coping mechanisims in place. You are going to crave a smoke. It's been a part of your life for a long time now (Don't forget it's been killing you for that long too. How nice huh?). It's natural that you will want one. It's also OKAY that you are gonna want one. Just don't give in. Most importantly (in my opinion), [b]do not let the smoking buddy at work get you back to smoking. [/b] This is directly or indirectly. I had 2 smoking buddies at work. Yeah it kinda sucked that I had to distance myself from them, but I did. After a couple weeks I realized I had started to feel sorry for them. I also saw the way all the non-smokers looked at them going out for smoke breaks. Trust me, it's much much better this way. For me, starburst fruit chews were the road to salvation! Kinda sweet, kinda tart and chewy enough to keep my mouth happy for a bit. It really helped me over the rough spots, especially at 'smoke break' times. A couple of things that I really really suggest kee

Hi Niks- Hold on tight. The good part is you know what to do and what to expect... We're all right here to support you. Do what you know how to do, Niks! Welcome back- Healer [url=[IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g31/healerwithin/nosmoking.gif[/IMG]][IMG]http://i52.photobucket.com/albums/g31/healerwithin/nosmoking.gif[/IMG][/url] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 228 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,983 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1060.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 29 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 53 [B]Seconds:[/B] 46

Welcome back Niks! I have been wondered about You :) Too bad that your reward turned out the way it did, but I'm glad that you decided to come back. You have done this before, so you know you can do it! NOPE! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/22/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 237 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,564 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1066.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 27 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51