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Dealing with 'You've just got to get out there'


21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
While this may not be the case with your parents, the old attitude from people in general was "get on with it". Panic disorder was something kind of mysterious and hidden, so totally misunderstood. Agoraphobia is a relatively new term to people. Even if they've heard the word, it's still generally shrouded in mystery. It just has not been discussed "openly" before. Now it's coming a little more into focus and gradually receiving the media's attention for instance, and it has sent many people scrambling to the dictionary. To illustrate the point, see how many posts are from people who are simply amazed that they are not alone? It was always a private sort of thing before, and we are doing our best to say it's time it was taken out from behind the shadows. So I'm quite confident that your situation is not unique. Perhaps you can show the site to your parents, or print out some material from the links at the top left under About Panic? The more they learn from "valid printed material", (and I assure you it was written by experts in the field) the more they will relax their attitude and be willing to support you in the way you need. Education is power and it's the tool that can break down fixed attitudes. Do you have any books on the subject you can ask them to read? We have suggested reading under The Library links at the left. All the best.
21 years ago 0 50 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi - thanks for your reply. I see what you're saying - unfortunately my parents don't really see the need to help me as they don't exactly regard agoraphobia as an illness, but more as a choice. I mean, they basically want me to be fixed, not 'in progress'. I guess I didn't explain myself very well. Thanks for the advice, though. It seems to me that you have a more enlightened attitude, seeing the need to practice every day and so on, probably because you have seen several people with anxiety disorders and realise they can't recover overnight simply by an act of will.
21 years ago 0 1062 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, Lucy. Your parents have a point. Challenging your fear is essential. Where they can support you is to help you make it one step at a time. Progress in panic disorder is not an overnight thing, but rather a steady series of little successes. All the best.
21 years ago 0 50 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi, I'm new to this great group. I have an immediate question: I'm working really hard to overcome my agoraphobia, which I've had on and off for the last nine years - sometimes I've gone for a couple of years completely free from it, other times I spend a year barely able to make outside. I've had medication, CBT, exposure therapy, etc and I think all of those things work and don't really have a problem with them. My problem is the reaction of my friends and family. My mother and father both consistently say to me 'You've just got to get out there' and have no appreciation for the difficulty that presents to me! I feel like an idiot all the time when I'm around them. And my friends think that I'm avoiding them on purpose, even when I overcome my embarrassment and explain my problems. It's like people think I want to be lonely and trapped indoors. I don't know how to deal with these reactions. So not only do I have to deal with my own sadness at being stuck, I end up comforting and reassuring my parents! I wish that agoraphobia was understood in the same way as having a broken leg or arm - it takes time to heal, you can treat it, but while it's broken, it hurts!

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