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How do I deal with it when I'm angry WITH somebody?


douglasa
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douglasa
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18 years ago 0 10 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Serenity, Go ahead and stab him! If it makes you feal better. Just kidding. I do know what you mean though, anger is the worst trigger of them all. You feal like since Im angry that gives me a reason to smoke, but you would just feal like crap if you did.

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    Days: 7752 Hours: 14

    Minutes: 17 Seconds: 19

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    45779

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    366,232

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Deli
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Deli
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18 years ago 0 1006 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
My take on this, Serenity, for what it's worth - I think perhaps that this situation would have made you angry anyway. You feel worse now because you've given up smoking. You know that if you give up coffee, you have a headache for two weeks - well, giving up cigarettes is far more dramatic. I reckon you will be back to your well-balanced, normal self before you know it. I admire you so much for still keeping up your quit under the circumstances. You are a pretty amazing person! The stress you are under at the moment is pretty full on and still you have not smoked. I take my hat off to you. Well done, girl!!! Deli xxxx
marlie
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marlie
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18 years ago 0 227 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hi serenity ya a move is one of the big stressors in a persons life and it seems like you are spliting up with partner or not living with you and that is another stressor so do not be so hard on yourself if you were changing jobs during all this I would say yikes start drinking lol. (joking). I know this sounds like sugar coated advice but man it really helps for me and I never use to exercise and hate it but when I stoped smoking I had the same kind of frustration and it was coming out as anger so when i get upset I start to exercise. I get up at 5:30 in the morning and do 45 min exercise tape and that seems to level me out for the day and if I am at work (dealing with clients) I take deep breaths and walk around the building. this will soon be over with (The Move) and then just think about the next place your going to live and the Joy this will bring you. chin up Heidi [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/18/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 268 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $51.74 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 12 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40

  • Quit Meter

    $164,804.40

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 6474 Hours: 18

    Minutes: 37 Seconds: 1

    Life Gained

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    45779

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serenity2
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serenity2
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18 years ago 0 243 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I think this will be the key issue for me in my quit. When people bug the crap out of me, what the Hell do I do with the feelings and how do I stop hating them???? I mean, I have just suggested an itinery of a few things to get done one of the days this w/end. I am about to move house and the "things" amount to very, very little out of the total things that I will do solo. My partner has said he is willing to help and will do ANYTHING he can to help. So for this ONE day, I made a few suggestions. The rest will be done by me - with my two kids - solo. Including gutting the new place from top to bottom. (Partner will not be living with us.) Back he comes with his OWN itinery, where he wants to fit in some stuff not connected to the (imminent) house move, so he can't do as much as I'd like (which is basically to cut the grass and tidy up the garden, plus collect a few of his things!). Now you see, I want to STAB him. I think I am ALWAYS going to have this problem where somebody doesn't want to do what I think they should. I've always been like this - but before, I would have sucked frantically on a string of cigs. What now??????? How do non-smokers cope when they know what THEY think a close one should do, and that person is determined to do something else/different? ta! S [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 8/20/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 11 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 398 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �66 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50
serenity2
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serenity2
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18 years ago 0 243 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Well I didn't stab him! lol. And I survived the w/end smoke free. No congrats or anything from him - which would have been nice, but hey - given my previous anger, I was congratulating myself - that he lived through the w/end unscathed and with no verbal from me! S
down
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18 years ago 0 3131 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Serenity2 I have a suggestion to make, don't let Gonnadoit see this post, quick erase it . LOL Marie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 82 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,244 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $328 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
gonnadoit!
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gonnadoit!
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18 years ago 0 2838 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
[i]Hi honey, I'm home![/i] :eg: -Jack Nicholson; [u]The Shining[/u] It's too late, Marie! HEHEHEHEHE..... Serenity2: Get with Breaking Free...we can take care of this dude! :8|: We've been on this topic before...... Seriously, however, keep in mind that your emotions are running a bit out of control right now and you are perceiving events in, perhaps sometimes, an irrational way. As I told Breaking Free, give it some time, and if you still want him gone forever, just let us know.... :eg: Even though you may not be together anymore, you may decide later on, when emotions are in check, that he's "okay" after all. That said, don't do me like she did and go confessing plots and plans to the enemy ;) Last time I ended up running my name for warrants for weeks afterwards! WHEW!!! And....Marie's a snitch! :)
Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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18 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Serenity2, Only you will be able to find what works best for you. A few suggestions: * Keep a journal * Punch a pillow * Deep breathing, relaxation, yoga, meditation * Think, read or watch something funny * Leave the situation and come back once your anger has come back down * Write a letter to the person with which whom your angry, do give it to them, just let out your feelings. * Thought stopping: when in conflict, stop, count to three, breathing deeply, then talk. * On the flip side of this, many would run to a cigarette instead of entering into conflict. They are now learning how to be more assertive and improve their communication skills with others. Learning to deal with your emotions is something many struggle with. You are not alone! Keep persevering, Danielle __________________________ The SSC Support Team
Katy
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Katy
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18 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I made the discovery that when mad as hell, I could do twice the work.....so just do the stuff yourself while you plan the murder of this "person".....lol sometimes I was told that I didn't realize how annoying I could be those first weeks after quitting?? I was wired and didn't know how to handle ANYthing. Kids would roll their eyes and call me sybil. Action is your best bet....either working or exercising....it helps you to let go of the frustration. hell, let the yard go....after all, you are leaving aren't you? won't he end up having to mow it?? lol whatever you do, work at ridding yourself of the frustration....it will only work against you in your quit. nothing is worth loosing your quit. hang tough.....this too shall pass Katy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2002 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 1700 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 68,030 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9690 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 221 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

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    Days: 5971 Hours: 6

    Minutes: 43 Seconds: 45

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    45779

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