I have not had many craves to deal with during this quit. I have had to deal with a lot of thoughts and I came to the conclusion that through most of this quit I have not necessarily been battling the Nicodemon, but my negative thinking which has become my comfort zone.
How can negativity be comfortable you ask? When that is the way you have done things for 28 years, you don't know any other way. And the Nicodemon (who has stood at my side all these years) knows it too.
When I was entertaining thoughts of relapsing yesterday, I examined them. Why would I want to hurt myself. Because Hurt if would. Well, I came up with that is what I have been used to feeling all these years. Painful as it is, I was used to constantly hating myself and beating myself by relapsing and going back to smoking. It was my comfort zone.
I have worked hard these last 39 days to find a new comfort zone. Difficult - yes at times, but not impossible. It feels right this time and I don't want to go back to that pain. I'm going to choose freedom maybe not forever, but for today.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 38
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 971
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $437
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
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Quit Meter
$330,386.85
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 6026
Hours: 15
Minutes: 11
Seconds: 54
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45414
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
681,210
Cigarettes Not Smoked
